BAD BEHAVIOUR

HI I AM NEW TO THIS SITE AND I AM SEEKING SOME ADVICE FROM PARENTS I HAVE A FOUR YEAR OLD SON HE IS 5 IN JANUARY

HE IS A FANTASTIC CHILD WHEN HE IS AWAY FROM ME AND HIS FATHER HE IS GOOD OUTSIDE HE IS GOOD AT SCHOOL NEVER HAD ANY COMPLAINTS ONLY GOOD REPORTS THE ONLY THING THE SCHOOL HAVE SAID IS HE HOLDS A SHORT CONCENTRATION SPAN I ALSO SEE THIS AT HOME I WILL SIT WITH HIMAN EXAMPLE IS I WAS MAKING A CAKE WITH HIM WASREALLY EXCITED ABOUT DOING IT WHEN I TOLD HIM WHAT TO DO HE DID NOT WANT TO KNOW.HE JUST WENT OFF TO PLAY ON HIS OWN USUALLY SCREAMING AT HIS TOYS OR THRIOWING THEM

HE HAS A YOUNGER BROTHER WHO IS 13 MONTHS OLD HE REALLY LOVES HIS BROTHER THEY ARE VERY CLOSE UNTILL I PICK UP HIS YOUNGER BROTHER OR PLAY WITH HIM MY ELDEST IS NOT FUSSED IF ANYONE ELSE OR EVEN HIS FATHER PLAYS WITH MY YOUNGEST BUT IF I DO ALL HELL BREAKS LOOSE.

HE ALWAYS WANTS ME ALWAYS WANTS TO HAVE HUGS FROM ME ALWAYS WANTS MY ATTENTION

HE DOES NOT WANT TO SLEEP AT NIGHT HE MUST HAVE ABOUT 5HR SLEEP A NIGHT HE WAKES UP EQARLY YOU PUT HIM TO BED EARLY HE COMES DOWN I HAVE TRIED ALL SORTS READING STORIES HAVING SOME QUITE TIME TOGETHER BUT NOTHING SEEMS TO WORK

HE HAS A VERY BAD ATTITUDE WE HAVE DONE THE NAUGHTY STEP WE HAVE DONE TIME OUT WE HAVE TRIED REWARD CHARTS WE HAVE TRIED EVERYTHING I CAN THIM=NK OF HE USES BAD LANGUAGE HE HAS A GOD LIFE AND HE IS LOVED VERY MUCH HE DOES NOT WANT TO EAT OR SLEEP HE IS VERY HYPORACTIVE HE IS ALWAYS TALKING AT THE TOP OF HIS VOICE HE ALWAYS INTERUPTS CONVERSATIONS AND HE HAS A VERY SHORT CONCENTRATION SPAN I AM ASKING F THERE ARE ANY PARENTS OUT THERE THAT ARE FACING THE SAME ISSUES AS ME AS I NEED SOME ADVICE IF YOU ARE I AM THINKING ABOUT TAKING HIM TO THE DOCTORS BUT I DO NOT WANT THEM TO SAY ADHD AS THIS IS WHAT IS LOOKING LIKE FROM ARTICLES I HAVE READ PLEASE ANYONE HAS ADVICE I WILL BE SO GRATEFULL

MERRY CHRISTMAS AND A HAPPY NEW YEAR

Re: BAD BEHAVIOUR In reply to: NICHOLA

hi! I just want to say that i am going through exactly the same thing with my 2 1/2 year old daughter! she has a younger sister who is 8 months old and they get on great hugs and kisses all the way but she always plays up for me.  She is like a teenager slamming doors and screaming all the time.  I thought she was like that al the time but her grand parents say she is great and my sister thinks she is an angel she is even really good with her father when i'm not there. For example:- i can leave her at my mum and dads house and she will throw a wobbly all the way over and while i get her in and while im there but as soon as i leave she is good as gold till we go and pick her up then its "mummy!!! i want to go home" and then she screams and screams till she falls a sleep.  she still doesnt sleep through the night and always shouts on me.  She has don a complete urn around since her sister was born. we too have tried everything.  the only thing i can suggest is take him to see your health visitor and they may tell you to see your gp.  I hope all goes well and that it is just jealousy of his younger sibling and its not ADHD.  I hope this makes you realise that there are people in your situation sept im gettin it all at 2 1/2 years old lol.  Good luck and happy new year.

p.s each time his sibling gets a hug or a kiss and he sees it give him one too and make him feel like he is the most important person in your life and et daddy to do a bit more with his brother if he doesnt already so that you can concentrate on him.

Re: BAD BEHAVIOUR In reply to: Nykita

Hi my name is julie and i have a six year old daughter she can grt very angry some times she shouts at me in my face grits her teeth slams doors and calls me an idiot but most the time she is a lovley little angel any advice

Re: BAD BEHAVIOUR In reply to: Julie1

Hi, maybe that is your Daughter's way of showing her frustrations ? has there been any big changes to her life, like a new sibling, you returning to work, or starting a new school ?.  I have a Daughter (age 9), a son (age 7) and a 10 month old son too.  I have found that girls can be more stroppy than boys, they can be more manipulative too !.  You will have to be one step ahead of her, watch she is not getting her own way too much, because it is always the mum who gets the wrath of the tantrum, good luck 

Re: BAD BEHAVIOUR In reply to: Hannah

Hi yes thanks there have been some changes we had to move back in with my mom before xmas because the rent was to much on the house we was renting plus her dad has had to fly to hawaii to be with his dad who had a stroke he has been away for nearly 6 weeks .  i just dont know how to disipline her i dont want to smack her ive tried to take things away from her i think she is immune to it now she is very jeckyl and hyde feel like pulling my hair out sometimes need scream therapy i think ha ha x

Re: BAD BEHAVIOUR In reply to: Julie1

lol sometimes i think screaming is the only thing to do so i go outside for a min and scream lol or scream into a pillow to let out my frustrations! My little girl (hope 2 and a half) just does not respond at all to smacking or shouting infact she ignores me as much as possible! have you tried putting her somewhere where she cant get any toys and ignoring her for 10 mins each time she misbehaves? i need to try it with my little girl but there are so many toys in the house i dont know where to put her lol. 

Re: BAD BEHAVIOUR In reply to: Julie1

Hi Julie...Sorry to here what's been going on...my immediate thoughts are that if your Daughter is pushing you to the limit and you feel like screaming...it is because she has picked up on your stress (lets face it life is busy, stressful and throws big problems at everyone).  If you are finding things are getting ontop of you, you are only human, but screaming and smacking all won't help, she will become immune to that aswell, but she will see a reaction from you,that you have lost control of the situation. We all lose it at times, my older two understand more as they are older than your little one, so I can verbally chat to them easier. Have you considered that maybe your a little depressed and could see your Doctor about anti-depressants ? .

My other point was that with your Daughter being so young...she is not deliberatly acting mean...from her opinion: the world consists solely around her!.  She doesn't yet know how to consider your feelings, or what you are going through.  The last thing was, you say you live with your Mum...Does your Daughter try and get what she wants out of your Mum, she needs to know that you and your Mum are on the same side or she will ignore you and ask Granny for what she wants instead!

Good luck

Re: BAD BEHAVIOUR In reply to: Julie1

Hi Julie...Sorry to here what's been going on...my immediate thoughts are that if your Daughter is pushing you to the limit and you feel like screaming...it is because she has picked up on your stress (lets face it life is busy, stressful and throws big problems at everyone).  If you are finding things are getting ontop of you, you are only human, but screaming and smacking all won't help, she will become immune to that aswell, but she will see a reaction from you,that you have lost control of the situation. We all lose it at times, my older two understand more as they are older than your little one, so I can verbally chat to them easier. Have you considered that maybe your a little depressed and could see your Doctor about anti-depressants ? .

My other point was that with your Daughter being so young...she is not deliberatly acting mean...from her opinion: the world consists solely around her!.  She doesn't yet know how to consider your feelings, or what you are going through.  The last thing was, you say you live with your Mum...Does your Daughter try and get what she wants out of your Mum, she needs to know that you and your Mum are on the same side or she will ignore you and ask Granny for what she wants instead!

Good luck

Re: BAD BEHAVIOUR In reply to: NICHOLA

Hi Nichola,

you sound like you're at the end of you teather. I'm sorry to hear you have shuch trouble with your son, his symptomps do pesent as ADHD, but this is not a bad thing!!!  All this means is that he can not help what he is doing, he has no control and it's not anyone's fault. My son has ADHD and he's lovely most of the time, but when he's having a bad day everyone around him is affected. He's hard work, there's no denying it, but the good days make up for the bad and I know that he has a disability, so it makes the bad behaviour easier to accept and deal with.

 It's not a tragedy to have a diagnosis, in fact it works to the child's benefit as this can mean extra funding for help at school and DLA, a financial suppliment, to help finance extra curricular activities for him to channel excessive energy in the right direction, at the moment my son receives in excess of £150.00 a month which means he can have 1:1 swimming, Gymnastics and boxing lessons, without it costing us a fortune we can not afford.

Don't be afraid to get a referral, if it is ADHD, then at least you have an answer to your concern and your son will have all the support he needs to combat his frustrating behaviour problems.

 Best of luck X

Re: BAD BEHAVIOUR In reply to: Julie1

hi know how you feel my daughter is 5 and sometimes i feel that she is 14 and hormonal!!

I have a son of 19 and there is no way he was as bad tempered and nasty as his sister...i think it is a girl thing as she as been brought up exactly the same way as her brother....hopefully they will come out of this phase....like you will not smack her and am at my wits end with what to do ...hopefully we will find the answer soon ...xx

Re: BAD BEHAVIOUR In reply to: NICHOLA

 in repleay to nicola

 iam sorry to hear you are having problems. the best way is to tell the child that the unwanted behaoiur is to say i dont like it when you.... or if the child is being spitefull is to shout stop! and give the child time out on a step for one minute for every year of their life. then to keep them on the step if they move off. give the child lots of good praise when they are doing somthing good like walking sensiblely you can praise them the child will reconise the good behaoiur and keep doing it to get the priase again. you must keep the posiative priase up. i hope this helps.  

neeta

Edited 5 months ago

Re: BAD BEHAVIOUR In reply to: NICHOLA

i really struggle with m 7 year old he gets really angrey were he trys to hit me o things an kicks his door brakes things e.c.t its become norm an thats bad... he has a younger sister who is 2 anhalf she started windin hi up but that is norm but im worred in case she starts... i do displin them by sendin them to there rooms iv done all charts with adam an steps he past that now,he also has compulshons sniffin his hands an swereig but only at me the swereing,they get loads off attnson i always make sure they both get the same if i can paintin drawin playin games danceing we do it all i make sure they get a good diet an have no colors in there food,adam seekd attenson sooo much it hard tellin me he do this an that (think iv just hurt lottie ) his sister or think iv just wiped spit on what ever)callin names all the time )in an out off play its crazy)yet he can be lovley an is ace a school an a dimond for my mum she sees no bad which dont help..im on my own now found it hard being with someone as well as copein with kids an adam found it hard i split with his dad when he was a baby i tryed gettin in contake but he dont want to knowadam no s none off this.he is hard work an so dramatic when askin him to go to his room for which ever behavya has accord.i also give him omega 3 an 6 they carm down hipo kids which adam is its hard to play tickelin games or out like that as he scrach s you carnt get him to hipo as he carnt carm down.