no cuddles please!!

no cuddles please!!

Hello, can anyone help? I have two children, a boy @3yrs and a baby girl @10mnths. The problem i have is that my daughter hates cuddles! she pushes me away when i try to hug her and she has never lay back in my arms without struggling. if shes upset i try to pull her close and settle her but she pulls wawy and just carries on crying.

My son is and wlways has been a really cuddle loving boy! he plays with my hair while lying cuddling, (has done since he was born) and even if he tries to cuddle or kiss his little sister she pushes him away too!

The only explaination i have is their routines, because my son was my first baby, i think i spoiled him, letting him sleep in our bed, fall asleep in my arms etc. I very rarely lay him in his cot awake at night(always let him fall asleep on my knee first). Whereas my daughter has always been put down at 7 and she is really good at getting herself to sleep, however i feel this is why she is like this?

any tips on how to get her more cuddly? has anyone else experienced this?

kellie

Re: no cuddles please!! In reply to: kell247xx

girls tend to be less cuddly to their mothers. what is she like with her father.  all you can do is keep trying but dont force her to have cuddles if she doesnt want them or when she is older she will thinks its natural for ppl wanting to "hug" her.  all you can do is tell her "well you give mummy a cuddle any time you want and when your ready" she maybe just likes to deal with her self as you say not letting her fall asleep on  you may be the cause but its a good thing that she gets herself down and will pay off in the future.  xXx

Re: no cuddles please!! In reply to: Nykita

Thanks, im not used to having a girl and hav heard they can be less into cuddles than boys so your comment kinda confirmed that and made a lot of sense! She is the opposite with her daddy, she even fell asleep in his arms recently! oh well il just let her come to me when shes ready!

thanks again, and ood luck with the nursery situation, im sure that will help her loads!

Re: no cuddles please!! In reply to: kell247xx

Sounds to me as if you just have two children with different personalities.

Your little girl is also still quite young... give it year and she'll notice that you cuddle your son more and may well want a piece of the action.

As long as you love her and give her the same attention  and care that you give your son i dont think there will be a problem.

You had me at 'hello!'

Re: no cuddles please!! In reply to: kell247xx

hiiaa...i have 3 children, 2boys and a girl my boys r 8yrs and 3yrs and my lil girl is 8months. jus like your daughter she has never really been a cuddly baby. she hates it when i cuddle her but when its her dad she loves it where as my boys love being cuddled by me but hate it by their dads. i think its something to do with the way your bond with your children, as your son was your 1st born you would of spoiled him with cuddles and kisses but when your daughter was born as she was your 2nd i think you dont spoil them as much becuase you have experianced it before and its not new anymore. why dont you try cuddling them both at the same time. if your daughter see's your son giving you a cuddle she may think its something good and exciting to try and she may try it. or it may be becuase you ahve always let her 2 soothe herself to sleep so she has become independant my children have always been asleep before they go to bed where as you have left your daughter to lie in her cot and fall asleep without help. although this is a good thing your relationship hasnt benifited as if she fell asleep in your arms you would be closer and the bond would be stronger between you. give her time and lots of attention but dont neglect your son and she will soon come round. good luck x

Re: no cuddles please!! In reply to: singlemum

BREAKTHROUGH!!! My baby daughter has now started cuddling me!!! i took all your advice on board and just left her to decide wen she was ready and its paid off!! i was cuddling both of my kids yesterday wen Rebecca actually lay her head against my chest and laughed!! i couldn`t believe it!! i then asked her to giv her big brother a cuddle and she did the same with him!!!

Now she gives cuddles out all day and its really nice wen she settles in my arms for a change!!

Thank you to you all for your advice!!!!

Re: no cuddles please!! In reply to: kell247xx

lol sometimes you've just gotta let them come to you! glad it paid it off xXx