How Do I Recover?

How Do I Recover?

 In December, exactly a week before Christmas, we lost my Granfather very suddenly to an aneurysm and while everyone else seems to be starting to pull it together now, I seem to be having a lot more trouble. It's not so much the fact that he's no longer around, although obviously that does still get me sometimes, it's more that I am almost constantly terrified of losing anyone else.

The shock of losing him was so awful that I am permanently scared of going through it again. 
REALLY scared. I worry about it a lot of the time and I don't know how to change it. I hate my other half driving the 40 minutes to work, because I'm scared he's going to crash on the way there or back. I'm TERRIFIED about my 79 year old Grandmother, because she's getting on now and I keep thinking about how awful it would be to lose her. My sister hurt her back recently and I was SO scared it would turn out to be something worse than just a bad back....

How do I get over this?? I'm starting to worry there's something really wrong with me. 

Re: How Do I Recover? In reply to: hotchiccy

its obviouse that you are going to feel like that for a while it all takes time! i havent lost anyone close recetly (thank god) but even i worry about my kids and my husband dying! i even sit up at night sometimes and worry about my mum and dad dying! they are only in their 40s lol but everyone does it! it is realy hard to let go of such feelings once you lose someone close to you and as i say it all just takes time, you need to moarn your grandfathers loss first of all and your husband and family will understand where the panick comes from, you just have to let go a little at a time.

I hope this helps hun

Nykita x~X~x

Re: How Do I Recover? In reply to: Nykita

I agree that you need to give yourself a chance to mourn - it's natural what you're feeling.

Also, have you thought about counselling? You could start by asking your GP about it, they usually have counselling services, or try the internet for grief counselling. There's no shame in counselling and it might feel a relief to be able to talk openly to a stranger about how you're feeling.

Keep in touch and let us know how you get on.

Keep Smiling and Eat Well :o)

Re: How Do I Recover? In reply to: hotchiccy

If you are scared of death...then you will be scared of living...Your Grandfather would want you to enjoy life...as i'm sure he did...I find it helpful to scan old photo's onto the computer...crop them...make little albums and give to other family members, who are also missing the one that has gone.  It was more poignant for you as his passing away at christmas, was on what is considered to be a joyful time of the year and full of family gatherings.  Give yourself time...it gets easier...you will never forget..but you will move on with your life. 

My Mum passed away suddenly last April.  I felt bitter at first, as she was only 54 yrs old and I was 9 months pregnant....it hurts to think she will never meet her youngest grandson...because she was looking forward to meeting him and she was the most supportive person to me during my pregnancy.  However, my Mum would want me to enjoy myself and my children, and (with the help of anti-depressants) we do focus more now on how precious life is.  Have you ever considered going to a spiritalist church, a medium may bring a message to you from the other side ?.....I did and felt a great sense of comfort.  You can look them up on web-snu (spiritualist national union).