my boyfriend has a dark secret

okay, so I've been dating this guy for almost a year and we've just recently made plans to move in together. He's got a very sketchy past - he sold drugs in college and got caught, went to jail for a while. Now he has a 6 year old daughter, who he takes care of half the time. He's cleaned up his act since I started dating him, and he's always been very open and honest about his past...I thought. But the other day, he told me that he has a secret that he felt I needed to know before I move in with him.....before he went to jail, he had a one-night stand with some girl he picked up at the bar. A month later (when he was in jail), she told him she was pregnant. He said there was nothing he could do for her- he was in jail. It gets worse - he never heard from her again until right after he got out of jail, he ran into her at a bar. He took her home (again), and shortly after, he found out that she had his baby while he was in jail and, I kid you not, she was pregnant with his second one. He cut off all ties with this woman and didn't want anything to do with her or "their" two children - because he had nothing to give her or them at the time. So he gave up all of his rights and has never seen them. I was shocked and hurt when he told me this, but it happened in his past, and he can't take it back now. I love him to death, but I don't know how to get over something like this. He's a good father to his daughter that he takes care of, but the situation just seems surreal. I just don't know if I can get past it. Any suggestions would really help! Thank you!

Re: my boyfriend has a dark secret In reply to: girl501

wow thats messed up. i porsonally think if he got this woman pregnant twice!!...then he should be there for her and help her....he sounds like a right di*k head.I know he's your boyfriend and you love him but how would you feel if u was this other woman?i think it just shows what he's really like...and if your okay with it and it was before you was with him then its not a big deal just talk about it . so you have a little girl?? if thats what you ment then she has 2 half brother or sisters and has a right to see them or at least know about them.

Re: my boyfriend has a dark secret In reply to: kelley

I'm lost, this is like a soap drama!...so he has three children, he only see's one of them, if I was a fella I would want to see all of my children?....Has he got some uncontrollable attraction to this woman who he had the two children with?...what makes you think he won't go back to her, as he has done twice?...we all have a past, people shouldn't be judged for that, just be careful is my advice x

Don't sit up close at the ballet...it spoils the illusion...

Edited 4 months ago

Re: my boyfriend has a dark secret In reply to: girl501

Babe, if you trust him && want to be with him then give it ago, if it was before he met you then hopefullyhes changed. He trust you enough to tell you his secret so dont be so quick to judge, what ever attracted him to the women in the first place obvioulsy isnt there anymore, or he would be with her not you. He clearly loves you, just be glad that he told you && be there for him as much as you can. But please just be carefull. x

Re: my boyfriend has a dark secret In reply to: Abbey_21.x

he's atleast told you what happened and you know that he is trying to be as honest as he possibly can with you, he obviously has big feelings for you for putting himself on the line for this so you should feel very lucky, This whole thing is a thing of your bf's past so dont dwell too much on it as you can have your own future with him where all past mistakes can be forgotten

Re: my boyfriend has a dark secret In reply to: annie ;)

Just thought I'd add that just cos he came clean about his mistakes doesn't mean they can be glossed over, I think it will still be one of those situations that crops up over and over again, like me on this chatsite!...good luck, I think she should start afresh with someone with less baggage, but that's just my opinon.....x

Don't sit up close at the ballet...it spoils the illusion...

Re: my boyfriend has a dark secret In reply to: Hannah

I agree with Hannah - it would also make me think "what else is he hiding and not telling me"

Re: my boyfriend has a dark secret

I know a girl who had a baby and split with the father. She wanted another baby but didnt want her kids to have different dads so she started sleeping with her ex again and dropped him like a hot stone when she got pregnant again. Point is, sounds like this girl has done the same thing.

Re: my boyfriend has a dark secret

I know a girl who had a baby and split with the father. She wanted another baby but didnt want her kids to have different dads so she started sleeping with her ex again and dropped him like a hot stone when she got pregnant again. Point is, sounds like this girl has done the same thing.