My 16 year old son is driving us mad!!

My 16 year old son is driving us mad!!

He is aggressive, disrespectful, rude and unhelpful!!! My husband and I are at our wits end!! In the past fortnight, he has got drunk and been sick, i found a full packet of cigarettes in his pocket, empty packet, empty lager tin in his cupboard, been suspended from school, been seen drinking in the street by my brother in law and had the cheek to wave as if it was acceptable!!

my husband and I are arguing the whole time about him, I am afraid to say things have got completely out of hand, he has always been an extremely difficult child but this is getting ridiculous!!

He screams and shouts at me and his dad and nothing but nothing is his fault!!

I have now said that he will get no more pocket money, he will have to go get a job, because my hard earned is not being used for this rubbish!!

HELP PLEASE!

S xx

Re: My 16 year old son is driving us mad!! In reply to: Susan97

Sorry I think I did not make it clear that he is both mine and my husbands son.

Re: My 16 year old son is driving us mad!! In reply to: Susan97

im sorry but if i had a 16 year old like that i would have told them to get out and get a palce of their own then they would appreciate their money and i think you are doig the right thing by telling him to get a job! If he doesnt like school tell him he can leave if he find a full time job first! He has to learn that you aint a bank and you CANT GIVE IN TO HIM EVER! if you do then he will keep doing it! you gotta be harsh for it to work. xXx

Tell those closest to you that you love them as you never know when they might be gone!

Re: My 16 year old son is driving us mad!! In reply to: Susan97

Hi glad to see thats its not just myself and my partner haveing the same problems as yourselfs,My partner has a son, whos a little bit older than your son, His just the same, have to be honest his been a living nightmare. Coming home drunk, npt wanting to work, and what he does earn just goes on boozes, I dont feel its fare for what he his putting the family though doesnt think about anyone but his self. Its that the world for today, They all seem to have so much anger instead them, not just our son but most of the children that are that age group. l dont feel its our faults god l hope not anyway, but the way the world is today.l hope this helps just nice to know your not the only going though it. jackie

Re: My 16 year old son is driving us mad!! In reply to: Susan97

Hi Susan im so sorry to hear ur story heres me feeling at my witts end about my story then i read yours my 16 yr old is not drinking or smoking but we are having a bad time with him half of the time hes been bullied most of his school life had to move school twice hes fell behind in his school work and just doesnt want to know about school stuff now hes doing his GCSEs now but dosent really study we have been paying alot of money for a tutor and thats the only time he looks at a book really, my son seems to have a lot of pent up ager and frushtrations in him and yes he takes it out on us most of the time, its like hes ok when he can do what he wants but then when you tell him to come off the ps3 or clean up somethink if he wants to hes ok and does it but if he doesnt you have an argument on your hands, i remember what its like to be that age i really do but now im the parent and im finding it really hard, because off the bullying we have been a bit over protective how can you not be but we realize we need to let go more and more as he gets older, we have been doing things to accomodat this but still find it hard to do when we are on bad terms with each other half the time, we dont want him to go out there while feeling this way if anything happened oh my god we couldnt live with it we have tried to talk to him saying we want him to have a great life to go places see things u know and we want him to do all this on a good note not storm out in anger he seems to understand but then when it comes to the crunch he does stuff to mess it up the worst hes said to me is shut up your vouse is going through me and im crazzy we are arging nearly every day, he also makes me feel no good for nothing and im the kid whos moaning and going on i feel he doesnt respect us at all and its like hes just waiting till he can get out of here thats not a nice feeling at all, and then theres times when hes so nice and loveing he makes us laugh we can have so much fun and iv said dont you like it better like this and hes said yes, so we make arrangments of what to do when things go wrong but when it comes to it he breaks his promiss and we're right back to where we started, theres more to it but havnt put it all down i dont no what it is but the kids today theres nothing for them its such a shame they need something that doesnt end up being ruined or they dont get picked on but they are learned how to act or deal with things in life that could really help in the real world the schools should bring out classes for that kinda stuff lots of people are saying the same thing why arnt the goverment or who ever it is doing somethink about it, i really do hope you get help for you and your family and hope your son realizes before it could be to late that life is great and worth living well and how much love could be shared, i send my wishes to you and all who need it. lx.

Re: My 16 year old son is driving us mad!!

 Haha, he sounds like alot of people I know my age [I'm 16 too].

We all go through stupid periods where we end up killing off our lungs and kidneys haha, but seriously, we do get over it.

I was like that too; but I ended up getting over it all.

Give him a bit of time to get it all out of his system. It's really not that bad. He could be doing worse; sleeping around, staying out ALL night EVERY night.

As for the job thing; that is a good idea. If he's gonna waste all the money you give him on crap like alcohol, then stop giving it him. Tell him, you'll accept the drinking and smoking [it will shock the hell out of him and most probably make him feel guilty, and maybe make him stop], but tell him he needs to get a job; you ain't gonna give him any money anymore.

Good luck and hope it all works out!

xx