Clingy toddler!!!!

Clingy toddler!!!!

Hi, I have a toddler aged 17 months who has recently changed his behaviour. All was going well until he turned 15 months, when he suddenly changed his behaviour towards me - his mum!!! Me, my husband & toddler went away on holiday for a couple of weeks when he was 15 months, and since we have been back, my toddler doesn't like being with me most of the time???? in the morning, when he wakes up, he kicks and screams, and pinches me to get off him, and runs towards the door to get to his daddy. he has also started to fuss when he eats or i try to take him away from his daddy, ie.. when my husband needs to go to work, he runs after him to go with him. and when were around family, he never comes to me, and plays with others - mainly my husband. even at bedtime, my husband has always put him to bed (which i don't mind because it means i catch up with house choirs or paperworK, and both father and son can bond!), but when i try to put him to sleep now, he has a tantrum! and now during most of the day, he doesn't really play with me anymore, and just prefers to sit in my lap. i find that if he doesn't agree with anything, he has a tantrum (which i know is normal for a toddler!), but i feel that he has more with me than anyone else, and they are always over the littlest thing! on monday, he was very upset with me, and would not stop crying all day long after my husband has left us to go to work. i feel like my toddler hates me, because he doesn't want to play with me and prefers being around his daddy. i haven't changed my behaviour towards my toddler, but somehow, he thinks that i delibrately keep him away from his daddy??? i hate seeing my son cry, and to know that its because of me, makes me very upset and depressed. he isn't always like this though. i do want to say that when he is such an adorable little boy, and when he is good, he is fantastic. we play so nicely together and he eats so well. and at times like this, i don't think i could be any happier. i just wish it would happen more often with me, and if there was some way i could explain to him, that he hurts me so much in the way he makes me feel sometimes. please help!!

Edited about 1 year ago

Re: Clingy toddler!!!! In reply to: Rooby

Oh bless Rooby - the terrible twos! I'm sorry, I don't mean to make light of your situation but this sounds just like my girls at the same age. Their "terrible twos" always started then and were over with by the time they got to 2 years old.

I think it sounds like your little boy is testing his boundaries to see how far he can push you - see how much he can get away with. If he screams or cries, try not to give him any attention. That always worked for mine. You could try rewarding him when he is good for you, with lots of praise and maybe a trip to feed the ducks or whatever he likes doing with you.

I know it hurts when he says he prefers his dad but maybe that's because you spend more time with him and have to be more strict so he sees his dad as the fun parent? My girls used to see my hubby as this before I went back to work.

Try not to take it personally - he obviously loves you dearly from the great times you have and you sound like you love him to bits. Just keep at it, ignore the tantrums and make a fuss of him when he is good. I still say to my 9 year old things like "Yes, you can have that pair of jeans because you're a real help to me". Reinforce the good behaviour and they'll do it more and more.

It just take patience but it will be worth it in the end!

Don't sweat the small stuff. It will make you stinky.

Re: Clingy toddler!!!! In reply to: Nina

My eldest Hope is the exact same with me and my mum! shes getting more clingy to daddy too but mainly my mum is the one she wants to be with. She always says she doesnt want to come home and she actually told me at one point that she doesnt love me! She calls my mum "mummynanna" and calls me "nanamummy" which makes me feel like rubbish but i know its because she sees me every day and it must get very tedious for her as well as me, we just have to concentrate on the good times and try to put the bad bits behind us for when they are older so we can embarras them lol!

Tell those closest to you that you love them as you never know when they might be gone!

Re: Clingy toddler!!!! In reply to: Nykita

It is hard not to take these things personally but we just have to remember that as the main care givers, we are going to bear the brunt of it all! They're only little after all and I'm sure they don't do it out of spite, they just want to see how far they can push us.

My girls prefer being at my parents' house than mine but then they get away with a lot more there so I can see why! I don't get it - my parents were SO strict with me, my brother and sister and they spoil their 6 grandchildren rotten, But I suppose that's the perogative of a grandparent! When Dad picks up the girls from school for us, he even carries their bags and things. I don't think I've EVER carried their bags - not even Jassie's book bag for nursery *lol*

Don't sweat the small stuff. It will make you stinky.

Re: Clingy toddler!!!! In reply to: Nina

lol well my two dont get away with anything with my parents! at all! so i really dont get it! but hey when she isnt here i do get a little piece and quiet! lol but what would we do without our kids?! i'd be lost without my girls and i do miss Hope when she is gone over night! My mum never has Faith over night dont think its anything against Faith but Hopes the one that doesnt sleep and is a wee trouble maker lol so my mum tries to give me a rest.

Tell those closest to you that you love them as you never know when they might be gone!

Re: Clingy toddler!!!! In reply to: Nykita

My parents are complete pushovers with my girls, but they are great with them and it gives me a break :o) They are retired and even check with me and my brother to make sure we don't need them when they make plans on certain days *lol* So we allow them out once in a while :o)

It works both ways too though. My parents are illiterate and emigrated to England in the 1960s and have relied on us quite a lot for translations and letters and stuff, which we did and still do happily - I suppose that's what family is all about. It also gave us a really good start - made us really responsible right from a young age.

But my girls don't hardly ever sleep over there because they prefer their own beds! They are good sleepers though and we have pyjama days where we don't go out and sit and watch films all day so they're not really all that hard work. I know I'm lucky before anyone asks!

Don't sweat the small stuff. It will make you stinky.

Re: Clingy toddler!!!! In reply to: Rooby

Hi Rooby. From what I've heard other friends say, this is quite common. Don't forget, you've been the only person your child has been interested in for the past couple of years.

I think some of it is tantrums, but it's also a developmental thing and helps dads feel part of the fmaily again. My 2-y-o changes her affections like the wind. She's always a mummy's girl, but transfers her love to my mum for a while when she's around and then to my dh when he's got her at weekends (sepecially long weekends).

Just try and stick with it and keep calm - they soon move on to something else. don;t lose it with them and try some distraction techniques - that's always my main idea!