am bored

ive been with my boyfreind on and off for 2 years, this time for good, were about to get engaged, just waiting for my 19th in a cuple of weeks. we have a 8 month old son who wasnt planned and are very much in love. i broke up with him 3 months ago because i felt scared that at 18 i was making plans to spend the rest of my life with the 1 person and wasnt sure if it was the right thing, but we got back 2 months ago and since then things are absolutly amazing, he is so loving an affectionate. but because of his job and my familys predjudice against him (because he had a bad family life and got addicted to drugs and hit me over a year ago while i was pregnant, but is clean now) i only see him on a saturday, my family dont know we are together. but since weve got back together i hadnt wanted sex. i didnt enjoy it much before we split, part of the reason because it made me think i couldnt love him much if it wasnt enjoyable. but ived told him what i wanted and finaly slept with him 2 nights ago. he did everything i asked for and i enjoyed the build up. and as soon as we started it felt good, but then i started thinkin "when is this over" or "hurry up im getting bored" i did climax and enjoyed it. but after wed finished he wanted to go again, and the whole time i was thinkin "please please please hurry up, im bored i want tp sleep. . . . etc" whats wrong with me? i really fo love him so thats not the problem, ive been told it could be because i dont trust him as he cheated on me 6 times in the past (just snoggin sum 1 else) and because he left me for 2 diffrent girls, 1 was only 3 months after our son was born. please help any one because im so confused and dont want to loose him over something like this, or to have to put up with something im not enjoying. after my son was born i wanted sex after only a week, but couldent coz of the pain. so its nothing to do with having the baby.

thanks, sophie xx

Re: am bored

Re: am bored

Hi Sophie, It could be a trust issue, you have at the back of your mind still that he did cheat 6 times (once could be a mistake, but 6 times has got to be deliberate?).  You sound sensible, as you are really thinking about your commitment to him, not just jumping in quickly to being engaged.

People sometimes confuse love and sex, people can (and often do) have sex and not be in love with that person, and it works the other way too.  Give yourself time, and straighten out the questions with your partner, Let him know that being engaged to you means, no drugs, no other women etc...Be honest in the bedroom too, let him know it wasn't wonderful, that may make him more eager to please, be truthful though to yourself, it may not just be him or the trust, your hormones are still up and down in the first year of having a baby, tiredness plays a big part in ruining our sex lives (temporarily!).....Hope any of that helps  X

Re: am bored

yeh that is a bit of help, thank  you, i guess i should sit down with him again and explain it all, im just so worried about hurting his fealings x

Re: am bored

Hi Soff,

I think it's natural to sometimes get bored and want it over with. Even tho you obviously love your man and you've been through alot together it could be anything that's affecting your sex drive. Even having a baby takes it out of you and the last thing you wanna do is have sex - you just wanna go to sleep at the end of the day - I've been there. I think it's all about timing, like sometimes women want sex and then other times they really don't - its natural! Also you climaxed so I really dont think you need to worry about anything. Maybe it would help if you try not to worry about it and don't think it's an issue and it will get better Im sure! Hope that helped.

Never say never and never say always

Re: am bored

yer that helps, thank you. ive also sat with him and explained. he was a bit upset thinking he had done something wrong but i put him right and now hes being really helpful and kind and isnt pushing for it. he said hel w8 till i want it. so thank u both for your advise x

Re: am bored

Hi I THINK YOU NEED SOME FUN IN THE BED ROOM . Go and invest in some toys.