Painful Sex

I have been in a relationship with my boyfriend for eighteen months and have been sleeping with him for the past 10 months. I am 17 years old and he is 18. We are so in love and I trust him 100% but everytime we have had sex i have found it painful upon him entering me (whether we use lubricant or not) and the actual sex quite painful at times and the pain is on the area of my lower stomach. I do not feel like i need to urinate and i dont understand why my body is acting this way because my boyfriend is not particuarly large (he is of average size). My boyfriend understands and doesn't pressurise me but I want to want to have sex with him. Please help. I feel like a freak!

Re: Painful Sex

Hi Chloe DG,

Firstly, let me say you are not a freak, don't even think that for a second. I am 20 and still find it hard to open at the start of sex and stil find it painful at many times. I hope you don't mind me asking but did anything ever happen to you in the past that could make you weary about sex?? if so this could be a contribution for your painful sex. You may not feel confortable in the environment where you have sex, try make yourselves as relaxed as possible. A couple could be very nervous and maybe uncertain no matter how much they love eachother, Might I suggest foreplay...this can stimulate your body and make you more relaxed and open. I have been having sex for about 2 years and I will say it will get easier...You may just need to relax more. If you are still unsure you could discuss this with your doctor. She may be able to give you advice.

Also, you are lucky to have such an understanding bpyfriend and it is good that he does not rush you so make sure you go at your pace, if he loves you he will be patient. Just experiment to find your perfect environment...you may feel more comfortable with the light on or off or When you have sex if youcandles...it is up to the individula person...you have plenty of times to discover this!!!

There is something you could try, when you have sex, try going on top and that allows you to control the speed and how fast and deep you want it to go!!!!!!!! Or if he likes being on top then you could condtrol his hips to go the pace you want to.

Good luck and I hope I have helped, Just remember what you are feeling is completely natural!!!!!!!! 

the greatest thing you will ever learn is just to love and be loved in return (yes it came from a movie but o truely believe it)