I think he's in love with me AND his ex

Dear readers,

I'm not sure if this is the correct way to address you as I am somewhat  new to using  message boards but I am at my wits end with my partner and don't wish to discuss such matters with my friends as I'd rather they did not know the intimate details of my life.

Deep breath - my partner and I have onlybecome an item recently. We 've been friends for years but each of us has always been with someone else and the time has never been right. Recently he told me that he loved me and wanted to leave his current partner (of 5 years) for me. I was torn and unsure but I love him too so I said that if he left his partner, we could try to make things work.

At the time my friends advised me that I should give him space after their breakup and let the wounds heal before starting a life with him. Foolishly (I can now see) I ignored them and he moved in with me. However, I have now discovered that he has been emailing and texting his ex-partner (it was mainly started by her). I also found photos of her on his computer.

 I don't know what to do about the problem. Should I kick him out? Should I confront him? Can there be a future for us? If I asked him to move out then can we still be together or will that be the end of things?

I love him so much but I have been hurt before and I do not want to go through all of the heartache again. Should I just settle and trust h?

Help! 

shady-sandy 

Re: I think he's in love with me AND his ex

Hi Shady Sandy - I'm glad you've been able to share your problems with us but I was saddened to read that you can't tell your friends? I'm sure they would be very upset if they knew what you were going through and couldn't tell them?

Anyway, I think you already know that you're not going to get anywhere without talking to your partner about how you feel - his texting his text and having photos of her etc. I don't think "confront" is the right word, but you should talk to him. Start with something like "When you text her and keep photos of her, it makes me feel..." That way you won't sound accusing and you're giving him an opportunity to put his side across. Also, think to yourself beforehand what you'd like the outcome of the conversation to be - if he wants to stay in touch with her, could you cope with that or do you want him to not contact her again. Being honest about this from the start will be easier in the long run, believe me.

I hope this helps anyway. Good luck and let us know how you get on X

Don't sweat the small stuff. It will make you stinky.