Teens and privacy

Teens and privacy

Do you think reading your kids MSN or Bebo messages is as bad as reading their diary? I was online last nt & my teenage son's MSN messages kept popping up. It really annoys me as he acts like the computer is his, but when a message pops up difficult NOT to read it, so i did!!! Couldn't see anything alarming, but he went mad. I wouldn't read his diary, if he had one! - but I look over his shoulder sometimes too to see what he's up to. Think you need to keep tabs on what they're up. Does anyone agree?

Re: Teens and privacy In reply to: Cool Jules

I think this really depends on how worried you are about your boy. To be honest, if I was really worried about one of mine (they are still quite young), I might probably read their diaries or messages. But only if I had cause to worry.

On our computer, we can log on as different users so if you can do this, then you won't get his messages popping up and he can keep his emails and stuff private? (It's hard to resist temptation, I know!).

Don't know if this has helped. Would be interesting to see what everyone else thinks as I've often wondered.

Keep Smiling and Eat Well :o)

Re: Teens and privacy In reply to: Nina

When it's popping up in your face its hard not to read it, and like you said-you wouldnt read his diary. You can set msn so that it doesnt automatically log you in when the computer is on, and sign out when uve finished using it. If he doesnt want you reading it, then he should be more careful and do that-otherwise your well within ur rites, and he cant really complain!

Re: Teens and privacy In reply to: funkymum

I think if your son had anything to hide he would probably know how to do it so personally I wouldn't be too worried about him, my son is 18 now and i know how to get into his messages but i never do (honestly ) and he knows i can too!!!. I must admit i used to be very worried when he was younger  you hear so many horror stories and whenever one was in the papers or on the news i made sure he knew about it. He went through school with a good set of pals and even though they all work they still stick together for nights out and holidays. Some times as hard as it is youv'e got to trust them unless they give you any reason not to, so if you do read his messages and there doesn't seem to be anything untowards give him his privacy, he can let his hair down with his friends and there will be a few swear words there i'm sure but  at least hes not on the strret corner where all and sundrie can hear him !!! thats why i think msn is a good thing,  you know where they are and theyr'e not running up telephone bills oohhhhhhhh the amount of arguments i used to have with my eldest kids (they are 35yrs & 33yrs) about telephone bills it used todrive me nuts. So try to give him some space until youv'e no reason not to. good luck

Re: Teens and privacy In reply to: Cool Jules

As a mum to a 21,19 and 17 year old, i have never read their messages on msn of phone. To be a good mum i think you need to give them privacy and trust. Be their friends and they will confide in you, be on their level and they will not feel threatened.I have a son of 17 who turns off his msn when i go in the room, i just say are you being safe, do you know who you are chatting with. That way he knows i am watching. I have never had any trouble with my 2 daughters or my son, my advise is trust them.

Re: Teens and privacy In reply to: Cool Jules

I'm not Sure if that is a problem but i have a 16 year old girl and i know she would go though roof if i even thought about going on her bebo or msn, i feel it is her life. I look out for her and do worry but i feel i can trust her with things. The worst thing you can ever do is read a girls diary and i know when i was that age i would have felt very upset if i had known that my mum read it. If you have a son there only so much you can worry about, and really all boy are doing is flirting with younger girls and having sex on the brain, All in all NEVER READ MSN/BEBO x

Re: Teens and privacy In reply to: funkymum

i know its hard to read them but u must not

Re: Teens and privacy In reply to: funkymum

i know its hard to read them but u must not

Re: Teens and privacy In reply to: Cool Jules

i have a 17 yr old and i dont look over his shoulder. i have his mates mobile numbers on my phone, i also get to know his friends. keep your kids close and thier mates even closer. i let him have his privacy as i have mine and just tell him ive already done most of what he will do so if he is man enough to do anything he is man enough to tell me. And we have a very close relationship. i dont go on his comp or read his messages you have to trust them, my son shows me alot of his messages when im in his room talking to him.xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Edited about 1 year ago

Re: Teens and privacy

 I guess it really just depends on how old they are.

As long as you teach your kid on the dangers of using things like MSN. bebo; and the internet in general, then the only thing you can do is sit back and relax really. Everyone needs to learn how to make the right decisions; and if we make bad ones on the way then that's when your kids need you the most.

I'm 16 years old; and when we got our first computer at the age of 7 or so, my dad told me how to use the computer, what to do and what not to do; and he left me at that. And it was the best thing he did!

Occassionally he does come up and look at what I'm doing, but only for like two seconds and  then he's off again. That's ok; but don't do it too much otherwise it just irritates uslol!

Good luck,

x