i need some advice

my boyfriend is working in america just now and we have just had the biggest row ever. i got a call from him on tuesday saying he had lost his phone which was fine but then one of my so called friends thought that she would play decective as she didnt believe him without my knowledge she took his number out of his phone and contacted him on the wednesday to be told it was him she showed me the messages on her phone so i then contacted him and he told me that he had lost his phone and the phone company had sent him a new sim card. he said that he needs a couple of days to think because he is not happy at the fact that i believed what i was shown. it is now 3 days later and i am in bits what do i do now ? how can he blame me for something that i didnt do ? he says he loves me but why if that is the case is he making me suffer ? he wont answer the phone to me or reply to texts ?

Edited 2 months ago by UNKNOWN USER

Re: i need some advice

I'm so sorry this has happened to you - that's some friend you have there!!! Even if she had her suspicions, she shouldn't have gone behind your back. If you believed your partner then that should have been enough for her.

However, and I have to say this, why didn't your partner contact you himself to say he'd had a new SIM card? And it was delivered to him in America? It seems plausible, but not very likely?

I'm sorry but I want you to see both sides of this and sometimes it's hard to when you're stuck in the thick of it. I do hope I'm wrong about all this, really I do, I'm not trying to upset you.

If he isn't answering your calls or texts, maybe you should text him to say that you understand he is angry and that you are ready to talk to him whenever he's ready. Then that puts the ball in his court and it gives you some thinking time.

I can understand he's angry but if he's committed to you and loves you, he will contact you eventually to make amends.

Let me know how you get on X

Don't sweat the small stuff. It will make you stinky.

Re: i need some advice

thank you for taking the time to read my problem and reply to me

i still have not heard anything from him and i am even starting to doubt if he did ever love me i tried to call him today but his phone is turned off

the points you made have crossed my mind why didnt he get in touch when he got a new sim card ? i cant figure that one out either i am not sure how long he is going to continue with the silence but i do know that if it had been the other way round he would have reacted the same way the only difference being i wouldnt have made him suffer the way he is making me suffer

i thik if you genuinly love someone then you dont leave them not knowing what is going on in a relationship how hard can it be to see that i apart from reacting badly when shown the texts am innocent in this and did nothing wrong but still i am the one that is crying when i go to bed not him

i think i am going to have to face the fact that yet again another relatioship has gone wrong and i am single again the hard bit is that i really ndot think that i did aything wrong this time apart from leave my phone on my table where my so called frined had access to it

thank you again for taking the time to add your toughts on this matter

Re: i need some advice

No problem, Cinders, I'm just glad my message didn't offend you. I can be very direct and I have upset people in the past - I like to think I've mellowed with age and am more diplomatic now but I still find it hard not to be honest and say exactly how I feel!

There is still time - maybe he'll calm down and contact you? You sound like a lovely girl so if he doesn't contact you, it's his loss. If he wants to hold a grudge for this long even after you've apologised (even though YOU did nothing wrong) then maybe you're better off without him?

Stay in touch anyway - I really hope it works out for you X

Don't sweat the small stuff. It will make you stinky.

Re: i need some advice

hi nina

just an update it has been two weeks since i even heard from him so i can say without doubt that yet again i find myself single if he did love me he would have been in touch so i dont even know if he ever did really love me

it would be nice just for once to find a guy that is honest and means what he says and when something happens just doesnt cut all contact he has taken the cowards way out and he is not that man that i thought he was the plans we made for the future obviously meant absoultly nothing to him which hurts but i suppose i am better finding out now then finding out a few years on in the relationship thank you for reading all my problems and moans its nice to know there is someone there that will listen when i am not sure who i can and cant trust anymore

Re: i need some advice

I'm sorry it's worked out like that for you. What a shame. It's like you said though, you're better off finding out what he's like now rather than later.

I'm sure the right man is out there for you - why don't you give fate a helping hand? Try a new hobby where you get to meet people - you'll make some new friends too and it will take your mind off things. You could try your local library for ideas of what's on or a good thing to search for on the internet (try google.com) is "activities in [the town where you live]".

Best of luck!

Don't sweat the small stuff. It will make you stinky.