OK Girls - Opinion time....

OK Girls – I’ve only seen this site following a link from somewhere else and looking at the comments has made me want to ask you about a problem I have… I’m going to ask here as it seems to be fairly anonymous and I want to see if anyone on here can give me a clue what to do about it.

First of all, most blokes out there over 40 yrs of age have had a pretty reasonable sex life (in general) – and those who have regular sex rarely has the problem I have… and it’s the age old one where I can’t control my orgasm… Don’t laugh – to me it’s unbelievably embarrassing and frustrating and it’s getting worse as I get older.

I’ve never had much sex (didn’t lose my virginity until I was 24) in my life, and even then that was a one off and then nothing for another 3 yrs (another one night stand) – and that’s how my life has gone – a series of very loose relationships where I never had a partner who would “work” with me to help be “normal” if you see what I mean. I doubt that on any of those moments I lasted for even 1 minute before exploding and because of that, never seeing the girl ever again (it was too embarrassing and they didn’t want to know anyway).

Women scared me – it wasn’t easy to talk to them, so any involvement/interaction was very limited….. By the time I was 35, I had given up on sex completely and just switched off my mind to it – it was something that “other” people did…… when I hit 50 I started believing that maybe I should have/deserve a better life and I actually started thinking about sex again, and even then when trying to masturbate I would still explode after a very short time.

I’m now 54 and am really trying to meet someone via the internet dating scene – but I’ve notice now that when masturbating now - I am now coming in seconds (within a few strokes) and that’s making me feel even more frustrated than before….. here am I trying to be “normal” and my body is doing everything to make it worse!

I have met about half a dozen ladies via the Internet dating sites and it’s going OK – but I’m now getting paranoid that if I meet one I really like, there is no way I can tell her about this problem – I would be way too ashamed to even mention it – I know I won’t be able to perform sexually for her and will most probably mean it ends up as another one night disaster that destroys the little confidence I have built up.

What do you ladies think - am I wasting my time and money going down this avenue - should I just give up and stay single till I kick the bucket…. or keep going in the hope that one day I might actually meet someone that is OK with it?

Oh and before you jump to the wrong conclusion – I am not hideously ugly, and am in fact slim (10½ stone), clean shaven, solvent, own home, nice car, good job, hard worker and take pride in my appearance.

So ladies – any advice for me?

Re: OK Girls - Opinion time....

Hello Mr Worried!

First of all, I am NOT laughing at you and, going on previous experience on this site, the other girls won't be laughing at you either - they're lovely ladies that I've come across on here and I've been coming here a LONG time :o)

You seem to have a set way in your mind of thinking about how people live their lives - I don't know what the "norm" is for any age group and I'm not sure where you've got your information from? I don't think there is a "norm" for anyone. But that's my opinion.

So let's concentrate on YOU. The problem you have is quite common and happens to a lot of men. This site is really comprehensive and you could do a search on it for premature ejaculation and I'm sure you'd find something.

Personally, I think you need to find yourself a nice lady and get to know her well and then ease into sex. You don't have to have sex straight away - you shouldn't feel under pressure to "perform" in any way and I think this would be easier if you take things slowly. Then maybe you'll get to know someone well enough to get round to explaining how anxious you feel about sex.

I don't think you're ugly from your picture and would never make that assumption from your problem - don't put yourself down! Also, this isn't a problem only "ugly people" (whoever they are) have.

Keep on at the dating and don't give up. You sound like a lovely man and anyone would be lucky to have you.

Don't sweat the small stuff. It will make you stinky.

Re: OK Girls - Opinion time....

Hi there, have you thought of joining a chat site and not a dating site and getting to know a woman that way first . If you build up a friendship that way and meet a couple of times for coffee there wont be so much presure . Dont always think you have to perform try taking things slow ,i,m sure anyone you meet will be glad you are taking it slow. And when you finally get to the lovemaking stage if you explode (your words) lol to soon just say its because you are nervous if she is a nice woman then she will understand. Good luck   regards karen

karen

Re: OK Girls - Opinion time....

hello mr worried

karen

Re: OK Girls - Opinion time....

Hi Mr. Worried

You say you haven't had sex much in your life and most were one night stands, therefore you have not experienced sex with the one partner numerous times. you do not have sex often so get excited quicker especially if the person is new to you. its all about getting comfortable snd relaxing.

having this problem isn't a huge thing and if you found a woman worth spending time with and decent then they should see no problem. this thing does not justify who you are. You do not need to have sex with a woman the day you meet them, take your time, get to know them and when you are comfortable around them then try and maybe the more you make love the longer it will take.

you should not let this dictate your like as you deserve to be happy. there are plenty of women out there that will not run from this, sepecially as it is such a common problem. you just haven't met her yet. Don't give up hope,

Good Luck Mr. Worried.

the greatest thing you will ever learn is just to love and be loved in return (yes it came from a movie but o truely believe it)