CHEATING

CHEATING

OK ........... i've cheated on my partner of 4 years with his best friend (we'll just call the best friend Paul), anyway's 'Paul' is also my best friend and I know him years longer than my fella does, but 'Paul' and I have only slept together once and we arranged to meet up a week later, everything was fine we were texting after we slept together but the day we were supposed to meet up i heard nothing from him and that was nearly 2 weeks ago and i still haven't heard anything from 'Paul', I feel so used and cheap but the worst thing is i'm after losing him as a friend just because we slept together, i would love to come clean with my partner but I dont see how our relationship would work after all this, being honest if he slept with my friend i would dump him on the spot, i just dont know what to do, my friends are telling me to just forget about 'Paul' but its not that easy to forget. Everything was going grand after we slept together up till a week later........... Please don't judge me but give me advice please xx

Re: CHEATING

Hi Kitten,

I'm not going to judge you but you do need to sort out your feelings and decide which of these men you want to be with

Don't sweat the small stuff. It will make you stinky.

Re: CHEATING

Hi Kitten,

I'm not going to judge you but you do need to sort out your feelings and decide which of these men you want to be with

Don't sweat the small stuff. It will make you stinky.

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Re: CHEATING

Hi Kitten,

Don't worry, I don't think anyone's going to judge you! A board like this is the sort of place where you can say things you can really say in real life, so you can release some of that stress and maybe even get some advice from people who just want to help.

I think Nina is quite right, you do need to sort out your feelings and decide which of these men you want to be with!

However, I think - from what you were saying - you don't really want Paul as the new man in your life. You just wanted a bit of acknowledgement from a friend, someone who wasn't your husband and would make you feel good - and he probably wanted the same thing!

Men aren't brilliant about talking about their feelings. Paul probably wanted exactly the same as you, Kitten! He wanted to know he was still special, and wanted to take the 'friend' thing a little further for just one night out of curiosity, and he doesn't want to hurt you, or his best mate. He's probably got a cheating hangover - it was fine for a week because of the texts and excitement, but now it's all caught up with him and he's wondering what the best solution is to make things as easy as they were before.

Seems like he's decided that if he just doesn't get in contact for a bit, that will make the whole thing go away!

The thing is, in a way he might be right. It won't be exactly the same between you and Paul now. If you keep meeting and texting it might turn the night into a bigger deal than it should be. 

I'm sure you and Paul are still on speaking terms. Give the situation a bit of room to breathe, let things settle and get on with your life.

You got away with it and maybe that's a good thing, because this night of being with someone else doesn't sound like the love of your life, just something that happened, as things do. Now it's best not to worry about Paul (who's probably thinking well of you, just trying to do the right thing and play it safe), and concentrate on keeping yourself happy, and being good to both yourself and your husband. I think your friends were probably right...?

Edited 11 months ago by UNKNOWN USER

Re: CHEATING

 Moosky you are so right, everything you said was just spot on, it was just about the sex with me and paul, neither of us wanted anything more from it, we know each other ten years so it was just the curiosty thing, we have spoken since then and he's hinted at another night but i've said no because that's all it would ever be, just a sex thing, since then me and my partner have broken up, well for the time being until i get my head together. it was really good to get some advice thank you very much xx