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Dealing with cancer in the family

Started on Friday March 6th 2009 at 10.47 AM

Mooksy
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4 posts

Dealing with cancer in the family

9 months ago

Hello everyone,

My boyfriend got a call from his day yesterday saying that his mum has secretly had breast cancer for a while without telling anyone, and is shortly due to undergo a radical mastectomny.

We're obviously a bit shocked and concerned.

My boyfriend was very brave and optimistic about his own bout of cancer when he was a child, but I don't know how he is going to cope with someone else in the family having it. Because the news is so recent, he's still adjusting, saying very little until he can figure out what he wants to say if anything.

I am obviously there 100% for him but was wondering if anyone else had been through the same sort of experience. 

Any advice on how to support loved ones worried about their parents' health would be gratefully received.

Nina
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303 posts

Re: Dealing with cancer in the family

9 months ago

Hi Mooksy,

I'm sorry you and your boyfriend are going through this, cancer is such a scary experience for all involved.

I don't have any direct experience of your problem, except just to be there for him, like you have been doing. Men hate to talk about anything, least of all their feelings, but he probably will open up eventually, even if it's only the odd comment which you can "pounce" on

Also, have you tried organisations such as MacMillan? They are there for the families of sufferers if cancer too. They might have some good ideas - they have a fantastic website, just gooigle them.

Hope this helps and all the best

Nx

Don't sweat the small stuff. It will make you stinky.

jbincan

The Ultimate Solution

about 1 month ago

 

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Den81

Re: The Ultimate Solution

about 1 month ago

Hi Mooksy

I am a Mum who has breast cancer.  Well, I've had 2 operations this year and am halfway through chemotherapy, so hopefully they got all the cancer.

I have 2 sons, age 23yrs and 30yrs.  It was very hard for me to tell them I had cancer because I didnt want to scare them and upset their lives.

I don't know how old your boyfriend is but please reassure him that survival rates for people with breast cancer is very good these days.  Hopefully his mum's cancer was caught quickly.  I told my sons everything and also told them that if they wanted to talk to me or ask me anything I was happy to go through stuff with them.

Just listen and support him because he will be going through turmoil.

Why don't you and your boyfriend (and even tell his Mum) have a look at a website for people with cancer, it's also for family, friends, carers etc.  It's called:   www.cancerbuddiesnetwork.org 

I have been using this website since I got my diagnosis in March this year.  You can just talk to people, tell them how you feel.  Your boyfriend and his Mum will get LOADS of support & advice.

You are obviously a very caring lady and I wish all of you the very best on your journey through this horrible situation.

Love Denise xxxx 

 



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