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Breakup Advice

Started on Thursday May 14th 2009 at 11.33 AM

HelpDave

Breakup Advice

6 months ago

Hi All,

need some advice on either moving on (which seems like the right option) or trying to persue this further....????

The breakup was not harsh and we left on pretty good terms. Her reason was that we are too different and that I would never understand her (we had broken up once before and got back together about a week later and she did tell me she loves me...). She mentioned to me some major issues from her past that she feels she needs to deal with as well as saying the she has commitment phobia (which had never come up before)

There where often times where she would get upset with me over really small things, like packing stuff away / offering to help with things, but she does tend to move from being really happy to sad / angry, I would often ignore it, but there where times it upset me and I know she would pick up that I took offence (just feel that perhaps I should have been a little more understanding, but it would swing from being happy to sad fairly often..., and then she would appolgise, she usaully felt that I was very understanding. She has a lot of issues that she has mentioned to me from her past that she said she has not dealt with and when these problems do come up (uselly after a few drinks) she tends to be very distant the next day or so. I called her last we to see how she is doing and once agin she said that she has a lot going on not happy etc. sent her an email to suggest meeting for a coffee over the weekend but got a reply saying that she cannot be in a relationship with me as our backgrounds are too different and that she cannot be friends with me so she thinks it is best to cut ties. I did not reply to that email, heard from her today (via text message) for my birthday, but just a general happy birthday type message. She does seem to be up and down / hot and cold with me. But we only dated for around 4 months, I still have strong feelings for her and I also don't believe we gave this a proper chance to get to really know each other. But it is more her decision. Just does not feel right that I never got to discuss how we could potentially move forward, as we broke up via email....