Baby sleep solutions continued
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Maternity nurse Rhonda Abrams takes the sting out of controlled crying with this compromise.
Step 1: Put your baby in her cot awake, then leave the room. Wait outside for two minutes to see if she settles.
Step 2: If she doesn't settle, go back in and lie her on her side, facing away from you (don't panic, you won't be leaving her to sleep this way). When she starts to cry, place one hand on her shoulder and use the other to gently pat her bottom, saying, 'It's time to sleep'. If she stops crying, stop patting - the aim is to get her to settle herself and not rely on the patting to help her.
Step 3: If, after two minutes, your baby hasn't fallen asleep, wait outside for four minutes. If she doesn't settle, go in and repeat the process, this time for four minutes.
Step 4: Keep extending the time spent comforting and leaving her to settle by two minutes each time. When she falls asleep, gently roll her on to her back. Never leave her on her side, as this is a cot-death risk. If she doesn't settle within an hour, offer her a feed and a cuddle, then start over until she falls asleep.
Do it your way
You don't actually have to sleep-train your baby. If you want to, you can ignore the friends, relatives and health professionals who say a sleep routine is essential for your child to learn to sleep through. Let's face it, they'll learn to do it eventually. You could look at it this way: babies aren't meant to be independent. They don't stop feeling hungry or distressed just because it's 2am and you're asleep. They can't survive without you, yet they're expected to go without your comfort for 10-12 hour stretches overnight.
Health professionals may say your little one needs uninterrupted sleep to develop properly but babies have to wake frequently to feed, and that doesn't seem to hinder their progress in any way. Some parenting gurus point out that babies can only express their needs by crying and if you don't go to them they may feel abandoned. If getting up and rocking her to sleep when she wakes isn't a problem for you, then keep doing it. If she's happy to drift off with you lying beside her, and you love watching her peaceful face, then keep doing it. This isn't spoiling her, it's teaching her that when she needs you, you'll be there. And isn't that the heart of the matter when it comes to parenting?
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Where to next?
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Baby sleep solutions continued
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Easy bedtimes
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Get your child to sleep through the night
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Getting your child to sleep in their own bed
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Is it time to give up the dummy?
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Is your child sleeping safely?
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Keeping nightmares at bay
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Moving your toddler into a bed
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Plan out a bed-time routine
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Shut out the light
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Toddler sleep solutions
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Laura Clacher, about 1 year
I totally agree with 'Doing it Your Way'. A lot of people seem to have an opinion on my baby sleeping with me, saying it is either dangerous or that I'm 'making a rod for my own back'. For starters I wouldn't be doing it if I thought that I was in any way putting my baby at risk, I feel so intune with her when she is next to me ,as she has been from the day she was born. Also I know that being so close to me really comforts her. When she wakes in the night, she feeds straight away, with no crying, and then goes straight back to sleep. She doesn't get distressed, we both get a good nights sleep and we are both better off for that come the morning. I think there is a lot to be said for following your maternal insticts.
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Annette Healy, about 1 year
Please help.....My 2 and half year old has started crying when i walk out of the room after putting him to bed...He nevr done this before and it started about 8 weeks ago after i returned from work after maternity...Nothing has changed in his routine...He asks to go to bed after his supper and I read him 4 stories and then when I walk out of the room it all starts...Sometimes he can cry for up to half an hour...He sometimes wakens my other baby aswell which is very stressful.....Any suggestions
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