Co-sleeping: The cons

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Should you share a bed with your baby?

NO: Babies need their own routine

Maternity nurse Rachel Waddilove says: 'Nothing makes me happier than seeing a baby well-fed, settled and tucked up for a deep sleep. They thrive on it. I'm not a scientist; I'm a practical girl coming from a completely different angle, mainly with the aim of helping parents.

There are a lot of downsides to co-sleeping. A baby will suckle on and off the breast all night, which is great for them when they're tiny, but at some stage you've got to stop that. If you co-sleep up to 2, 3 or 4 years of age, a child will have a huge emotional anxiety about being taken away from his parents. And how would your relationship with your partner survive? It's so important for couples to have time together.

There's also the risk of smothering the baby or the baby over-heating. If mums tell me they want to co-sleep, I explain the risks, and they don't do it. These days, they say you should have the baby in your bedroom for the first year, but I think that's crazy. All my clients put their little ones in their own room in the first month. There's so much fear instilled in parents these days, but you just have to trust a bit and let life go on.

Experience tells me that babies sleep well when they're swaddled, put in their cots and tucked up nice and tight with a full tummy. If you try for routine and four-hourly feeds and your baby's a good size, by the time he's a month old you won't need to keep getting up in the night.

When a baby won't sleep, I also use "shout it out" and controlled crying (allowing the baby to cry for a short while before going to him), which do work. I understand that a parent's instinct is to immediately pick the baby up. But when I'm living with a family, I say, "Don't jump up straight away; wait and see what happens." You aren't doing any long-term damage; they'll never remember it the next day and it doesn't mean you're a bad parent. In fact, I'd say it takes a better parent to hold back a bit.'

Rachel believes that a baby should be put in his own cot, ideally in his own room, and a routine should be formed two weeks after birth. Rachel uses both 'shout-it-out' and controlled crying sleep techniques.

Her book The Baby Book, by Rachel Waddilove (Lion, £7.99) is so popular, it sold out of its first print run. Eldest of six siblings, mum to three, grandmother of six, a maternity nurse since the 1960s. Her CV has references from contented parents and babies, including Gwyneth Paltrow, Chris Martin and their daughter, Apple.