Co-sleeping: The pros (continued)

Co-sleeping is kinder to babies continued

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'In the first five years of life, the separation distress system is very sensitive. But as children develop, some may feel secure aged 3, while others can still be in a state of alarm and screaming in distress at that age. This isn't attention seeking; we know this is activating the pain system and separation distress alarm. If we keep alarming the baby, the brain becomes over-sensitive and hard-wired and this is linked to stress, anxiety and depression.

The emotional benefits for the mum mean the physical contact will activate oxytocin and opioids in her body and produce more breast-milk. She doesn't have to get up every time her baby screams in the middle of the night; the baby reaches out and says, "Mum's next to me. Phew, I'm safe." The mother breastfeeds and the sleep cycle isn't interrupted.

'We do need to think about logistics such as private space and a couple's sex life. It's a good idea to set up a romantic place to make love, but not in the bed. And if you don't like your child kicking next to you, buy a king-size bed. You wouldn't deprive children of nourishing fruit and veg, so why deprive them of this natural feel-good activating sleep?'

Margot believes that putting a baby in bed with his parents from birth will help him grow into a calm, healthy adult. She says that separation from the parents is harmful, increasing stress hormones such as cortisol, which could cause depression later on.

Her book The Science of Parenting (DK, £16.99) investigated 800 case studies, the culmination of eight years of co-sleeping research. She has been a child psychotherapist for 20 years, as well as Director of Education and Training at London's Centre for Child Mental Health and the author of several books on child mental health.