The sleep rules: Toddlers

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Toddlers and pre-schoolers

'But I'm not tired, mum!' By the age of 2 or 3, hopefully some bedtime resolution will have been achieved. But daytime naps area bit of a conundrum. Many children need them right up until they start school, but how much can you give them during daylight hours without compromising their regular bedtime?

'It's important for children to get the right amount of sleep, as this will affect growth, function and emotional states,' says psychologist Chireal Shallow. 'But I'd suggest not letting a toddler or pre-schooler sleep later than 3pm. If they nod off near 3pm, let them have a 30-minute power nap.'

The general consensus is that daytime sleep should be rationed. Some parents stop naps completely once their child reaches a certain age, but being overtired can trigger nightmares. 'When she cries in the night, I feel so helpless,' says Kerrie, mum to Rosa, 3. 'So I wake her up, turn on the light and let her know everything's okay.'

Night frights

Waking a dreaming child might make the parent feel better, but gentle soothing usually does the trick. Or letting it pass. 'My son often criesin the night, but it usually only lasts a few minutes, and then he probably goes back to dreaming of Postman Pat,' says Sarah, mum to Toby, 3.

When a child suffers night terrors involving violent screaming and thrashing, the temptation to turn on the light and give him a cuddle can be unbearable. But it's generally futile. 'It's much better to let the night terror end on its own,' says Jodi Mindell. 'Waking a child during a night terror usually makes it worse and last for longer.'

'My three-year-old son, Gabriel, recently went through a week of screaming while he was fully asleep, at around 9.30 each night,' says mum Susie. 'I lay with him so he didn't hurt himself, but I didn't wake him.'

Severe cases of night terrors often occur like clockwork, and waking your child briefly, about half an hour before the terror, appears to break the chain. But do seek professional advice if your child suffers from them regularly.

Wet nights

Some who are in the mucky midst of night-time potty-training often use a wake-and-wee approach. Most children will then sleep through the night, but some won't.

How you manipulate sleep to suit the rhythm of your family is a personal puzzle. So read up and find out what works for other people, like Jamie, mum to Lewis, 4. 'I use pull-ups at night,' she says, 'because if I woke Lewis in the middle of the night, he'd be confused and wouldn't understand what I wanted him to do.'

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