'Don't take stroppy teens personally!'
When my eldest daughter Ella reached 13, I went from being her best friend to feeling I had no relationship with her at all. She would come in from school and just grunt at me. It was really heartbreaking as we'd been so close growing up.
I tried talking to her countless times but she acted like I was the most embarrassing person in the world. My partner persuaded me to not get too upset by the way she was treating me. I remembered how much I felt the world was against me when I was that age and decided the best thing to do was just ignore it.
After a while Ella started talking to me again. I think it helped that I didn't show her how upset I was. Now she's 15 and we're much closer again.
I think you have to accept that some relationships are going to go through a rough patch. Teenagers can be very difficult and it's not your fault!
Sara Croxley, 45, Washington, Tyne and Wear
More help and advice
- Expert help on dealing with stroppy teenagers
- Advice on arguing with your teen
- Time to let go: advice on coping with teens' struggle for independence
- 10 must-dos for parents
By Sara Croxley
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Iain R, 5 months [Offensive? Unsuitable? Report this comment.]
Note to Sue - I've been in the same situation but my partner supports me which is a tremendous help. You have 2 separate problems - the difficult kid and the lack of support - maybe you could benefit from dealing with them individually. I recommend "Difficult Conversations" by Ann Dickson to help you discuss it with your partner. Dealing with the girl - stay totally calm in the face of any provocation, keep your emotions in check and don't let them show. That immediately takes the wind out of a stressed situation and puts you in control. Get your point across, then walk away from it for a while. I'm guessing her behaviour is probably worse in front of your partner - it's for his benefit - you may get somewhere talking to her individually. It's tough, good luck. Iain.