Let them make decisions
It's at this stage that your child will be starting to voice their opinions, and may disagree with yours.
Don't belittle them by poo-pooing the decisions they make or opinions they have. Let them sound off a bit and let them have choices from what clothes they'll wear that day to the clubs they join, or the music they listen to. It will boost their confidence and help them begin to feel their own person.
Support their choices. OK, so you may hate the pink top with that brown skirt, but if they're happy, let it go.
Let them know the house rules
Giving them choice is one thing, but letting them have a spray tan, body piercing or tattoo is another if you don't approve. Lay down the law before they reach the age where they may want one, so they know where you stand.
Give them space
Privacy is really important at this age, so do respect your child's. If they're lucky enough to have their own bedroom, let them decorate it how they'd like, within reason, and stamp their own identity on it.
If they share a room, try to make an area feel like their own - you could hang a curtain between beds, or put up dividing shelves.
Knock on the door before you go into their room to let them know you're coming in. Try not to eavesdrop on phone conversations they may have.
Listen to them
We all lead busy lives, but what may seem like a trivial problem to you could be a massive problem to your 11-year-old. Pre-teens are sensitive souls, so be there for them and whatever you do, don't laugh if they ask you about kissing or puberty worries. And never repeat their confessions to siblings.
Keep your conversations private and they'll come to trust you when they need to talk again.
Talk to them
Try to talk to them now about the big topics, including sex, drugs and relationships. That way they'll be more likely to open up to you when they are teens and may well encounter problems.
- Read more: you're an embarrassment
More help and advice
- Getting their first mobile phone
- Ways to encourage their independence
- Teach children the value of money
Share this article
- Comment (0)
- Send to a friend
- Print: Article | Page
