First year problems: Crying

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New mum Amanda says: 'My 3-month-old cries constantly, and I just can't seem do anything right for her. Sometimes I shout at her and I'm scared to be on my own with her. I feel so terrible and very ashamed. I don't know what to do.'

Amanda is being very brave in speaking honestly about how she feels, and many new mums will identify with her. Becoming a parent is never what we expect. It can be overwhelming, frustrating and confusing, and we may find ourselves behaving in scary and alien ways.

Crying is hard to cope with, especially if we can't stop it. If you feel like Amanda, both you and your baby need some support.

Take your baby to the GP to check she's in good health.
Tell your GP and health visitor how you're feeling. They will be able to identify and help you cope with post natal depression.
Share your feelings with those close to you, your partner, family, best friend. Don't bottle things up.
Accept practical help to give yourself a break.
Use local networks, such as mother and toddler groups, the National Childbirth Trust (0870 444 8707) or internet parents' groups.
Make sure you get out every day, no matter how bad the crying is.
When you feel yourself getting stressed, put your baby in her cot and walk away. Calm down by making a hot drink, phoning a friend or playing music.

By acknowledging how you're coping, you've taken the first step to improving things for you and your baby.