angela, 15 days [Offensive? Unsuitable? Report this comment.]

I need help, my child is afraid of an older child at secondary school who is known for hanging around with a crowd who do drugs and drink. As well as being reluctant to go to school she has taken days off without being sick. I can see her schoolwork suffering. I am not allowed to complain to the school because she is unconvinced that there won’t be reprisals by the bully or one of her friends she says they will find out it is her who told on them. She is thirteen and the older pupil is sixteen and this has been going on for five months. Can you advise me what my next step should be?

Ana, 2 months [Offensive? Unsuitable? Report this comment.]

THIS IS FOR TEENS: I have a boyfriend who is two years older than me, and I am 15. I live in South Wales and he lives in Worcester, and we have a long-distance relationship so it can get hard. Our parents have never met, yet we have been together almost 8 months now. My parents let me go to his for whole weekends on the train on my own (he also comes to mine for weekends at a time), and this is solely because I have built up their trust in me. They know I'm a teenager and I am going to experiment and that I have to make my own mistakes, but they also know that I am well-balanced and have my head screwed on. If your parents do not like your boyfriend or girlfriend, you should most definitely sit down and find out the reasons why they dislike him/her, and also get them to meet your partner and see them for who they really are. Getting your parents to trust you to make a sensible choice with who you have chosen to be with is important, so make sure you keep them regularly updated on your relationship. THIS IS FOR PARENTS: If you don't like your teen's boyfriend or girlfriend, there really is not much you can do about it so I would recommend being supportive and letting them know you are always there for your son/daughter to talk to about the relationship. Keeping the lines of communication open will really help your relationship blossom. Stopping them from seeing him/her is going to cause tension in your home and arguments, and chances are that they will continue to see them behind your back. Sit your son/daughter down and ask them what has attracted them to this particular boy or girl. Then explain why you have a problem with them dating them, but do not throw insults around as your teenager will defend them and an argument could arise. Ask to meet your teen's partner - invite them over for dinner so you can all get to know each other better. You never know, you could be pre-judging and in the end you may actually really approve of their relationship, just give your child the time and the patience they need to prove to you how responsible they are and how they are capable of making their own decisions in relationships. Thank you for reading :) x

J, 5 months [Offensive? Unsuitable? Report this comment.]

"COULD TELL YOU EVERYTHING LIKE IF YOU GET CAUGHT HAVING UNDERAGE SEX YOUR OLDER BOYFRIEND GIRLFRIEND CANNOT GET IN PRISON UNLESS YOU AS THERE PARNTER PROSICUTE THEM NOT YOUR PARENTS JUST YOU" Not true if the state decides that they want to press the matter then they can.. child protection issues etc. The older 'lover' can be one for child molestation. So it does NOT soley depend upon the partner pressing charges.

fiona, 10 months [Offensive? Unsuitable? Report this comment.]

my story is i am a 14yr old dating a 20yr old my mum does not approve i completley understand this is some imformation to teens and there mums!!!! mums let your teen have a little bit of freedom and responablity. teens that means if your mum or dad says you have to be in at a certain time then do it. life might seem hard at the moment for both of you teens you want to see your lover mums you want to protect your teen and never call your teen a child it really bugs them they are teens ok all you need to do is spend some time together even if your a boy teen!! it means time to sort out your relationship with mum or dad you can go shopping play football go for a meal whhat ever you want but give your lovers a rest it might seem like 4days is a year but you need time to stop shouting or saying bad things about your teens lover or each other because girls your mum is like your enemy when she trys stopping you seeing your lover and you feel like you hate her you say you mean it bu when it gets all to much your mum is always there to fall back on trust me i have said bad things about my mum but when i have been crying my eyes out she has always been there for me. this is for the boy teens you might seem like spending time with mum is not cool but your friends might be asking you to come outbut think about this if you and your mum can come to an agrements about your relationship with your parten then its worth going out with your mum you might feel like you are to manly to cry on your mums shoulder but everyone needs a good cry it makes you feel alot better i have watched my 21yr old brother cry and he is very manly but it helped him alot but all you have to do is respect your parents but show them that your love is true. THIS IS FOR ALL TEENS AS I SAID IF YOU WANT TO PROVE YOUR LOVE IS TRUE THEN SSPEAK TO YOUR PARENTS WHICH EVER ON YOU CAN FEEL LIKE TALKNG TO AND MUMS AND DADS DONT FORGET YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE THINK BACK TO YOUR TEENAGE LIFE YOU MIGHT SAY WELL MY PARENTS NEVER LET ME DO THAT LET YOUR TEEN EXPERIMENT LET THEM LEARN THE HARD WAY BECAUSE LIFE CAN GET TOUGH SOMETIMES BUT MAKE YOUR TEEN CLEAR THAT THEY CAN TALK TO YOU ABOUT ANYTHING AND THAT DOESNT MEAN YOU SHOUT AT THEM IF SAY LIKE YOU HAD 14YR OLD AND SHE SAID SHE WAS HAVING OR SHE WAS PREGNANT OR SMOKING OR DRINKING HELP THEM STAND BY THEM TALK TO THEM AND TEENS TALK TO THE MUM AND DAD. JUST SO EVERYONE KNOWS I AM 14 I HAV BEEN PREGNANT I USED TO DRINK I USED TO SMOKE I AM ENGAED AND I HAVE HAD CHILD PROTECTION AGENCY ON MY BACK I HAVE BEEN THROUGH IT ALL I COULD TELL YOU EVERYTHING LIKE IF YOU GET CAUGHT HAVING UNDERAGE SEX YOUR OLDER BOYFRIEND GIRLFRIEND CANNOT GET IN PRISON UNLESS YOU AS THERE PARNTER PROSICUTE THEM NOT YOUR PARENTS JUST YOU AND IF YOU GO TO THE HOSPITAL BEING PREGNANT THE HOSPITAL AUTOMATICALLY TELL CHILD PROTECT AGENY