What to do if your child is being bullied
Finding out your son or daughter is the target of bullying is never nice, but what can you actually do to help?
Sue Ormersher, Senior Press Officer from Parentline Plus gives her tips on how to beat the bullies
Helping your child
- Keep calm: your first reaction may anger, but you can't let your child see this. They need to be reassured and may be less likely to trust you again, if you get irate.
- Talk to your child and let them know you're there for them and that you love them and don't pressurise them into talking to you.
- Suggest someone else they can talk to: not all kids want to talk to parents, so think of someone else they trust, such as a grandparent, other relative or close friend.
- Reassure them: tell your child that it's not their fault and they shouldn't feel ashamed that they're being targeted.
- Raise their self-esteem: bullying hits a child's self-confidence, so praise and encourage them at every possible opportunity.
Dealing with the source of the problem
- Have a quiet chat to your child's teacher: either have a quick word on the phone or go in before school.
- Many schools are very good when it comes to bullying and they'll do a special assembly about it to highlight the problem.
- If you don't get anywhere with the school, ask to see a copy of their anti-bullying policy. All schools are legally required to have one.
- Then ask to see the headteacher and keep a record of any meetings you have.
- If you're still not happy, try contacting the Chairman of Governors or your Local Educational Authority
- Make a list of all the questions you want to ask and take someone along with you, so you don't miss anything that they may say.
More on bullying
- How to get your kids to open up
- How to spot the signs of bullying
- How one mum stopped her son being bullied
- Have your kids been bullied? Have you been a victim? Share your experiences
- For more practical help, check out the Parentline Plus website or call 0808 800 2222
By Sue Ormersher
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Where to next?
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How I stopped my son being bullied
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How to spot bullying
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Are we beating the bullies?
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How to make sure your child isn't bullied
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Beat cyber bullying
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A parents' guide to the Internet
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Child blocks and chat rooms
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How to complain to the school
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How to tackle bad behaviour in class
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What to do if your child gets a bad school report
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What to do if your kids hate PE
Please leave a comment, tip or story in the box below
Alison Cairns, 3 months
My son's bullying is mostly in the street - it spilled over into school last year, and they were great. I know the mum of the main instigator but she doesn't believe it - thinks its the other way round because of the difference in size, and she has seen Andrew's reaction to some of the incidents - he gets very angry and frustrated. I know some of this is caused by jealousy - we're fairly new to the street but still at the same school, and I think the other boy sees all the family activities we do and how we, as a family, are very involved in the life of the school. The other family aren't, and the dad is very aggressive - has sworn at my son - these are 9 year old boys! Now, some of the others get involved too - a couple of older boys, who no-one likes, but who pick on Andrew because they'll get a reaction, and some of the younger boys who just copy the others. It got to the stage over the summer where Andrew didn't want to go out. He's got over that, and sticks to those he knows are his friends, but he can't avoid them forver. It breaks my heart, but we just don't know what to do. Andrew shows some real anger, but he's normally so sensitive - cries over films!
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Tina, about 1 month
Alison Cairns,im sat here crying ad want to hug you,i have exactly the same situation going on,its only just spilling into school,i have felt so alone yet when ive asked for help from police etc ive had social services sent round,still struggling through it,and i didnt understand the nastiness people can give off,but hey 2 in the same boat- even down to the father shouting situation and it being accused of my kids lol who havent played out since mid july 2009 its unbeliveable,my sons 14 the other is 13,incidently my son is wanting to "kill himself",very scary time and ive reached out to get him all the help i can
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