Talk even when they don't listen

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5. Explain yourself
If you explain your reason for making a decision, you'll help them to know how to make good decisions themselves. For instance tell them you want them home by a certain time because after that the streets aren't safe. Even if they don't respect it now, they will as adults.

6. Stand up for your teen
Back them up. They need to know you're behind them.

7. Tune in
Know what music they're listening to and everything they're involved in.. the names of their friends (and their parents). Check out their bedroom and downloads. If you don't you're shirking your responsibilities.

8.Be flexible
It's good to have rules, but if there are exceptional circumstances, it?s OK to bend them.

9. Share your interests
Shared interests mean you understand each other better. You learn together and share experiences. Believe it or not your teen wants to have some connection with you besides arguing over the car keys.

10. Keep talking even when they won't listen
This is a secret, but teens do listen to their parents. Even when they're yelling, your words do stick. Tell them what you think about smoking, drugs, sex and it will get through, even if it looks like it hasn't. If you don't, you're neglecting them.

Jay McGraw is the author of Life Strategies For Teens, Simon & Schuster

More help and advice

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10 dos for parents
Talk even when they don't listen

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Salina, 24 days

my teen daughter just brushed me off, its just like 'mom don't meddle in my affairs' she thinks that i will not understand her problems with her friends after reading your article i think i should start talking to her by giving examples and not to judge her...thx

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