Talk to your teens
Eastenders' Ian and Jane Beale are having a terrible time with teenage daughter Lucy. At the weekend she had a party and trashed the house and after an argument with Ian, he ended up hitting her.
And in last night's episode Ian reported her missing after she ran away from home.
This latest storyline highlights that talking to your teenage son or daughter is never going to be easy. On the one hand you want to find out what they're up to and feel that they can come and talk to you about anything. On the other hand you're watching them become a young adult and maybe feel that they're growing up too quickly.
Find out where Ian's going wrong and how you can do a better job with your teen.
What do they know already?
You'll probably be amazed by how much your teenager has already picked up from their mates and TV about sex, drugs and alcohol. Find out what they do and don't know, fill in the gaps and put them right on anything untrue they may have heard.
Be upfront and honest
Bring up your concerns about alcohol, underage sex or drugs in everyday conversation. Soaps, adverts, TV programmes, newspapers and magazines are great starter points for conversations. A car journey is another great way to have an intimate chat. They're trapped with you in the car, so can't get away!
Are they worried too?
This may be the first time they've been to a proper teenage party with girls and boys and they could be feeling quite nervous. Ask what they'd do if they were offered alcohol or drugs, or if someone wanted to have sex with them. Talk through the best way for them to react.
They have to take responsibility
We can't wrap our teenagers in cotton wool. They do have to start to find their way in the world, and socialising is an important part of that. Explain that they will come across situations where they will be tempted by drugs, alcohol or underage sex. Tell them how you feel about this and spell out that they have to live with the consequences of their actions. That it's their responsibility and their choice. Tell them it's fine to say no and not to be taken in by friends who may show off but aren't actually doing what they say they are.
Talk about the risks
If you haven't already done so, talk about the risks of alcohol, unwanted sex, pregnancy or catching a sexually transmitted infection (STI). Explain why, if they were to have sex that they must use a condom to protect against pregnancy and STI's. Explain about the dangers of drugs too, of accidental overdoses and bad 'trips'.
- Next: Read on for help talking about sex and alcohol
More help and advice
- Spot the signs of teen drug use
- Talking about sex
- Aerosol abuse and what to look for
- Could your child be drinking? What should you do?
- 10 ways alcohol can affect your child
- Read one mum's story of when her teenage daughter got pregnant
By Julia Shaw
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