We sympathise if you and your partner are arguing about whether to start a family. There's no easy answer, but men do have a few common fears that you may be able to address together. Understanding what they are, and knowing how to respond, will help you to understand each other's points of view and make a decision that suits everyone.
However, it's important to remember that his opinion is just as valid as yours, and under no circumstances should you consider 'tricking' him into getting you pregnant. If you're feeling desperate for a child, it may seem very tempting to just 'forget' to take your pill, especially if you think he'll be a great dad and just needs to be 'pushed' into action. But no matter how you try to justify it, you would still be lying to him, and a healthy family foundation should be built on trust, not deception.
Here are 8 of the most common reasons your partner might not want a baby, and how to respond...
'I'm too young to settle down. I want to have fun'Solution: How old is he? Maybe he is too young - maybe you both are. Ask yourself if he could be right? Are you trying to hurry him without good cause? Could you afford to wait a few years?
If you're concerned about your fertility and really do think that time is running out, calmly explain why. Men can still have babies in their seventies so perhaps his biological clock isn't ticking quite as loudly as yours. Remind him that the older you are, the more difficult it can be to conceive - but imagine the fun you could have trying!
'I'm too old, I don't want to look like a grandfather'Solution: Point out the advantages of being a more mature parent. Reassure him that children don't care how old their dad is, providing he loves them and takes an interest in their lives. You don't have to be 25 to push a swing or read a bedtime story.
Older dads are often wiser and more patient with their children - that's far more important than being able to run a marathon with them.
'My mates have put me off'Solution: New dads like to frighten their mates with horror stories about babies. The sleepless nights, the endless crying, and the lack of sex are real enough, but they don't last forever. However, he's not going to take your word for it, so let his mates put him straight.
Tell them to cut down the stories (they've scared him enough) and ask them to bring a few baby photographs along the next time they meet up. Pictures of other dads holding babies are often cute enough to get him thinking...
'I'm not ready yet, stop nagging me'Solution: Tell him you know that having children is a massive decision and of course you don't want to rush him into it, but you need some sort of time-frame, otherwise you'll think he's just stringing you along. He's right about nagging though, because it really doesn't work.
You can't nag him into having a child, so now that you've made your point, promise to stop talking about babies for a couple of months. In return, he must promise to sit down and talk seriously about it again, once the agreed time has lapsed.