- Try to get each child on his or her own and out of earshot of the others. This should be one-to-one or two-to-one (with both parents there) if possible, so that they feel free to ask questions and have your complete attention.
- Be loving an affectionate - recognise and accept their pain (but don't anticipate or encourage it if it's not there)
- Reassure them that you'll both stay part of their lives
- Promise them that you'll never stop them seeing and spending time with each of their parents
- Be prepared to answer their questions and also for their refusal to talk about it
- Be ready to come back to the subject when they're ready
- Make what you say age appropriate
- Be there for them: choose a time when you don't have to rush off to do something else
- Let them be by themselves if they want to be: some children will want to grieve in private before they're ready to talk to you
- Be as honest as you can be with them. It's good to let them know you're upset but try to cut out the bitterness you feel
More help and advice- Tips for dealing with separation
- How to survive a break-up
- Divorce - what happens next?
- Parentline Plus' tips on coping with divorce and separation