25/12/13, Sandringham, by Prince George2am: I sometimes sleep through the night and sometimes I don't. I like to keep Mummy and Daddy on their toes. I thought I saw a beardy man with a big red sack in my room so I did a big shout. It was just enough to wake mummy and daddy up. Then I thought about all the photos Uncle Harry would be taking of me today, so I popped my royal dum-dum back in to get some proper beauty sleep.
5.30am: As it's Christmas, I woke up at 5.30am so I could get a head start on my presents. Ah, here comes Mummy. Where are my presents? She's pretty good in the morning. We'll have a little snuggle while I have my breakfast. Mummy was a teeny-weeny bit grumpy when I kept looking around to see where my presents are, so breakfast takes much longer than usual.
8am: Watching all my relatives scoff a full English is pretty dull. Daddy puts away a full plate and goes back for seconds. I'm still wondering where the rest of my presents are. I got millions when I was born, and I'm hoping that Santa will trump that as I've been such a good boy. Mummy says I have to get dressed in a minute. I've probably got to wear something scratchy and uncomfortable for church like when I had to go to that Christening thing. I hope they don't chuck water at me today. I'm going to wait until I'm completely dressed and we're about to go out the door before I fill my nappy right up - it's a fun game I like to save for special occasions. As it's Christmas I might even do an up-the-back, then they can pop me into one of those snuggly onesies instead.
11am: Foiled. I think Mummy predicted my nappy joke as we're not as late for church as I expected as she was ready to pounce the minute I started to make my purple face. Meh. Maybe I'll throw some unexpected sick over the lady next to me's best frock instead. You won't see that coming, Mumsy. I'm quiet as a mouse during all the talking. SUCH a good boy. Now WHERE ARE MY PRESENTS?
12.30pm: There were lots and lots of people looking at me after church. I noticed they weren't really that interested in Great Granny or Mummy and Daddy - it's all about me, and who can blame them? I'm really very cute. Now we're back at that house that's one of Great Granny's holiday homes. She seems to have a lot of those.
1pm: Just look at that lunch. Turkey and all the trimmings. Yum. I'm so bored of milk. Maybe I can persuade Mummy to start weaning me early. I think I'll make a grab for Daddy's plate and stuff a sausage in. They're all reading cracker jokes so I might just get away with it. Oh boo. Milk again. Waaaaaahhhhhhh. What am I wearing now? The face on my jumper looks like that guy that was in my bedroom last night. Now, seriously, where are my presents?
2pm: I'm tired. Sooooooooooooo tired. Great Grandpa's snoring. How am I expected to sleep through that? Royal cot please, Mummy! There better be a decent pile of George presents under the tree by the time I wake up.
3pm: Awake! I'm awake! Ready for my presents! READY! Why is Great Granny on the telly? What's she talking about? Oh I'm so bored. Great Granny's right here. Why do we have to listen to her on the telly? Waaaaaahhhhhhh! Uncle Harry's a bit tipsy. Hahha. He's going to be fun when I'm allowed out to play with him. Where are my presents?!
4pm: What is that on my head? Seriously. Am I a reindeer? At last! Presents! Noisy noisy rattle. Excellent annoying gift. Shoes! Nom-nom-nom. NEXT! A cuddly monkey. Let's see who picks it up when I drop it on the floor. Grandpa Charlie. And, oops! Down it goes again. Granny Camel this time, but she shakes it in my face a little bit before giving it back. Annoying. Now it's Mummy's turn - she makes some weird ooh ooh oooooh noises. Everyone is a bit over-excited I think. Daddy and Uncle Harry are being very silly. If I could talk I'd tell them all to calm down. This monkey-dropping is a great game, but I'd better get on with my presents if I want to get through them before bedtime.
6pm: Din-dins! Turkey leftovers? Mummy? More milk. Meh. Bathtime? Already? There better be some new toys in that bath or I'm not getting in. Waaaaahhhhhhhhh. Waaaaahhhhhhh. Mummy says I'm over-tired, whatever that means. Where's my monkey? I want my monkey! Waaaaahhhhhhhh!
7pm: And that's it. My first Christmas over already! Don't be turning that monitor down to quiet, Mummy. What if I need you? What if the beardy man comes back? I overheard Grandpa Charlie saying that tomorrow is Boxing Day. I think that's when they put all the rest of my presents in great big boxes. I like playing with those. Happy Christmas, everyone! Hope you had a Georgeous day! (See what I did there?!) ZZZZZZZZZZZZ.
Pics: Alison Jackson/REX
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