Search

How life after becoming a mum looks. Warning, it's not nice and neat

(0 ratings)
Life before being a mum spilled cereal

Before you had kids life was so simple. For one, you could make Friday night plans without implementing a military-style strategy including bed times, babysitters and how to get home before midnight.

Ever since you have been blessed with a brood of your own there have been certain things that have happened in your life that make you feel slightly uncomfortable. For example, when did it become okay to wear the same outfit for an entire week? And is it normal that reheating your tea in the microwave is just an hourly occurance now?

We have a feeling you may identify with some of these...

Relying on a glass of wine in order to relax once the kids are in bed

Wine used to be a fun weekend drink with the girls, now it's like a prescribed antidote to having to be enthusiastic ALL the time.

Reading your child's book/watching a film so many times that you've actually broken/got rid of it

But if you had to read that same book one more time, you might have done something worse than thrown it in the fire while your child was sweetly sleeping in bed. Frozen is good for nobody.

Being so deprived of sleep that you feel delirious

Have you ever felt like you're having an outer body experience because you're SO tired? How are children so energetic all the time? Sleep little people, sleep. Please?

Actually being able to keep some small beings alive on aforementioned lack of sleep

If someone had told you before you had children how little sleep you were going to get for around the next 10 years, you probably would have taken contraception more seriously. Only joking (sort of)!

The rate at which you go through money, is this some kind of joke?

Maybe all those promises of birthday presents and holidays will have to be retracted actually.

Spending an obscene amount of time washing, drying and ironing clothes

Yet you seem to wear the same outfit for a week and that damn washing pile never has the good manners to shrink.

Driving as many miles as Lewis Hamilton has in his entire career, every week

Why oh why did you sign them all up to every single available club at school, and why are they all at different locations at different times? Talk about logistical nightmare once you've got more than one child on your hands.

Thinking it's totally normal for your child to shout 'Muuummmm' from the toilet

To summon you to clean their bottom. It's much too much hassle for them to deal with themselves you know. And why would they when they have a willing slave in you? No brainer.

Answering so many questions

They might be small in size but they've got a lot of life's big questions on their minds, and they need them answered, now!

Telling lies to your children

Like if they don't go to bed Santa won't come, and not even feeling slightly guilty about it.

Being so content with so very little sex

When exactly do parents have the time? Very rarely is the answer, and even if you do have the time you'd probably rather just sleep.

Sleeping in the strangest places

You've got to make hay while the sun shines, as they say. Having a quick nap in the car while the kids are in their swimming lesson is totally okay since you've become a mum, and you don't even care who sees you.

Letting your children do exactly as they please every so often

We can't all be super mums and sometimes we'll do anything for a bit of peace and quiet.

Being weed on

Regularly. In fact, you've got so used to it now you hardly even flinch and have probably answered the front door to someone at some point with urine down your top.

Having to physically defend yourself against your own offspring

How did they get so strong, and so angry?

Feeling trapped in a house of soft toys

Why won't they stop making that same noise, over and over again?

Having so many friends who are also mums

You hadn't previously considered the possibility of so many babies in one room, and paying so little attention to them, you're just too happy to be having a regular conversation with somebody to notice the kids.

Letting your children go days without baths

Basically as long as they've not been sick in their hair, they're good to go.

Letting your personal appearance slip so drastically

A hairbrush? What's that?

Eating food from anywhere

The floor, your child's mouth, their friend's plate, wherever food is found it shall be eaten and not wasted.

 



Continued below...


Where to next?


12 signs your cat is plotting to kill you

 21 incredible Frozen birthday cakes you'll probably never be able to make



The mums you see at the school gate
The reality of having twins vs what your friends think

Your rating

Average rating

  • 0
(0 ratings)

Your comments

comments powered by Disqus

FREE Newsletter