As if it wasn't bad enough that your belly is permanently mere millimetres from the floor, your Christmas-crazed owners have to come along and draw attention to your small sausageness by dressing you up in some ridiculous and downright humiliating festive get-up.
And then they go and post the evidence on the internet! Damn those humans.
Here are 19 times dachshund owners have taken their Christmas addiction several steps too far...
'Look, if you've put him in that ridiculous hat then I'm pretty sure you'll have put something equally as ridiculous on my head too?'
'It's a pair of antlers. Isn't it.'
'No, I'm not asleep, I am deliberately not talking to you on account of THIS jumper.'
'What do you mean "Look at his cute little face"? This is quite obviously my "Take this off me right now before I get really mad" face?'
'Do not be fooled by the dreamy setting and my cute face. Inside I am positively seething with anger at this headgear.'
'Why do I have to suffer the perils of a scarf when this guy gets away with just a hat? As if this whole situation wasn't unfair enough... '
'I have zero interest in your cute photo opportunity, remove this festive rubbish or the tree gets it.'
'What is it with you humans and wrapping us up in Christmas lights? I'm pretty sure this breaks several fire safety regulations... '
'Sorry, what's that? You want to wrap me in Christmas lights AND shove me in a ridiculous hat? Brilliant. Just. Brilliant.'
'I might be small and ridiculously adorable, but inside I'm brimming with rage at this crime against my personal style.'
'Sticking me on a festive blanket and under the tree does not make up for the horror you're putting me through.'
'Lads, keep your eyes firmly closed if you know what's good for you, otherwise they'll be back with Christmas jumpers too'
'I am not, nor have I ever been, "Santa's Helper", and if you don't tell him I will.'
'So let's get this straight, you put us in these horrendous hats and then put us in a box so we can't do anything about it?'
'Anyone know the RSPCA's number perchance?'
'If I wake up to find they've put that ridiculous bow back on my head, there'll be hell to pay.'
'You have approximately 5 seconds to take this off me before I wee on the sofa.'
'Yes yes, very funny. Not as funny as when you realise I've licked every Christmas biscuit on that plate though...'
'Please, take as many pictures as you like, I'm using this valuable time to plot my revenge against you.'
'This jumper is SO not my colour and for that, I will never forgive you.'