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Mum writes brilliant open letter to 'lazy' kids - and it sounds very familiar!

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Dear kids?
Continued below...




Obviously let's start with the ‘we love our kids' disclaimer. Of course we do, they are our world and we'd do anything for them, and in most cases do... literally everything for them. 

 

Well, one mum had enough and decided to let her little cherubs know, with an outrageously funny and sarcastic open letter.

 

Mum-of-three, Meredith Trotta posted her tongue-in-cheek letter on her blog mblazoned.com and it has already had over 70,000 shares - from like-minded mums no doubt! 

 

The letter begins, "Feel free to leave your stuff wherever you want this Summer. Half-drunk smoothies in the family room? No problem. I got it. Socks in the hall. I'm on it. Dishes in the sink? Keep 'em coming. Legos? Everywhere? Love it."

 

Read the whole letter below...

 


Hey Kids,

 

Feel free to leave your stuff wherever you want this summer. Half drunk smoothies in the family room? No problem. I got it.

 

Socks in the hall. I'm on it. Dishes in the sink? Keep 'em coming.

 

Legos? Everywhere? Love it. Oh, and feel free to drag your blankets all over the house and abandon them the moment you no longer want them. I'll fold them lovingly for you and return them to your rooms.

 

And doors? Shutting them is optional. I'm right behind you, so, seriously, don't worry about it. I love when the wasps get in and the air conditioning gets out. Who are we to be sequestered in our climate controlled house? Open door policy in this house. We have endless money.

 

And it's totally fine to leave your wet bathing suits and towels on any surface from the floor to the banister. I love heaps, but be creative! Oh, and putting them on painted wood surfaces is the best. I'll grab them so they don't warp the wood.

 

You're busy. Stop. Get back to your Netflix. Friends is not going to binge watch itself.

 

And let me know when you are hungry. Don't be encumbered by normal meal times. And please don't coordinate with each other. The kitchen is open 24/7 and I'm happy to whip up anything you need, whenever you need it. I majored in short order cooking.

 

And if you make something yourself, just leave every single item exactly where you last needed it. Milk, too. If it goes bad...I'll just buy more. Money? Please. I'll just work more.

 

And I got the clean-up. I will walk in your footsteps and put things away. It's fun for me to live vicariously through your cooking. Like, wow, how did they get so much shredded cheese on the counter? Impressive.

 

And every time you are thirsty...get a new glass. We have tons. And a dishwasher I love to load and unload. And, as far as I know, endless electricity and water. The world is our oyster.

 

And if something comes up with your friends? I'm in. I'll drive you there or back, or hell, both. I mean, I have a car and a license. I should put it to good use. And please, no need to give me any advance notice. I can easily stop whatever I'm doing, even work, to take you. I know how valuable your time is.

 

Need some money for the movies? You got it, kiddo. And to the little one, when you feel like it, I'll take you to the pool.

 

Before we go, you can complain and squirm while I put on your sunscreen. Don't hold back. Just be you. Express how you're feeling. It is cold, isn't it? I love the challenge of when you inch away slowly as I'm applying it. Good stretch for my arms and back. Kind of you to think of me.

 

And just one thing on goggles. I'm on it. Don't bother to keep track of yours. I've made it my summer mission to know where your goggles are at all times (in the car...left side...wedged in between the seats). At night, I'm sleeping with them under my pillow. We can't be too careful. How will you swim without them?

 

Just a few last minute housekeeping items: Eye rolling? Yes! I love the immediate feedback of my thoughts and ideas. How else can I gauge if I'm pleasing you or not?

 

Showering? Optional. You know what's best. I defer to you. Wearing a hat? No way. The more sun the better.

 

Chores? Just tell me when it's a good time for you. The weeds and messes aren't going anywhere.

 

One last thing...please always wear your headphones so that you can't hear me when I'm talking to you. Communication is totally overrated.

 

Little known fact about me? I love yelling things at the top of my lungs three or four times with no response. It's very cathartic. Look it up.

 

-The Default Parent

 

So, there you have it. Note to kids everywhere: "Get back to your Netflix. Friends is not going to binge watch itself." - In case you can't tell we're being sarcastic.

 

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Ruth Higgins

Ace. Going to alter a little to suit our family then post on the wall along with the points chart that is really working well. (Am I getting into the sarcasm enough yet?!) Oh, and on LEGO. Did you know that feet are a device for finding lego in the dark? Usually on the stairs on the way to the toilet. How was it NOT there on the way UP the stairs, in the light, when you where last to bed? I Know it was the fairies, or the gremlins, or the resident poltergeist, but 'not me Mum'. So I'll keep looking out for your favourite lost pieces and won't vacuum them up. I'll place them in the wee boxes we spent hours sorting, and I'll keep buying those special sets that you NEED but then mix up with all the other sets. And, while I'm at it, I will carefully put away all of those really cheap xbox discs that SOMEONE leaves lying around out of the cases, that the dog thinks are frisbees, and will wonder why they got scratched enough to be unplayable. And, on the subject of the dog; No, I have no idea why he sicks up his tea on your bed in the middle of the night. Feeding him late and adding 'extras' to his dish that you didn't eat but he shouldn't have would NEVER make him sick, would it? Never mind carrots in it. I really can't tell what you sneaked to him. And I really don't mind when you leave the vomit there for 2 days so I find it by smell. After all, it is so much more important for you to ignore my rules and check your xbox games for points earned, sneakily, whilst I work to earn the money for the damn thing. Membership, add-ons, electricity. My horse was cheaper to keep and far less demanding than the bloody xbox, or you kids. God, now I think farrier and vet bills were a small price to pay for fun, love and companionship. Shoes!! How is it my trainers are only falling to bits after 5 yrs of heavy use. After less than one week back at school, a brand new, £40 pr of school shoes were KNACKERED. 24 hrs wear in total, and you have no idea how they got ruined? You didn't climb the brick boundary walls (that are forbidden) instead if the very carefully designed jungle gym that the school paid fortune for? And you never scuff your toes when walking, after a million times of telling. Fairies again, when shoes are left all over the house instead of in the cupboard as I ask? And I've never fallen badly over a school bag left in a doorway, or a fork dropped on the floor 3 inches away from the open dishwasher. These things really don't matter. It won't matter when you come in one day and find me unconscious at the bottom of the stairs, having tripped over something left lying. It won't matter if I was in hospital, and you had to go into foster care while I get better. You'll love it. Rules, sure you'll learn what they are, from someone else. LITTER. How is that SO horrific when dropped on the street? It is really bad. Someone has to pick it up, and at school, that is you. Going round the village and picking up other peoples' rubbish. Looks and smells horrible, and you ask me why people can't put their rubbish into a bin when it is just there? We obviously don't possess bins in every room in our house, placed obviously like in the village, do we? Shall I let you leave your rubbish where you drop it for 3 wks until next collection? I know you will be very embarrassed to let friends visit a stinking rubbish dump. Ha! Well, I am and my job description is MOTHER. not 'recycling technician, or whatever. You want more attention from me, you need to do every job that I ask you, there and then. NOT 'a minute'. You want something fixed, you want it NOW. I am ONE person. Not enough hrs in a day. NO, I'm not tired and narky. Me? I have lots of time to waste while you play games and watch tv and cheat my rules then need everything NOW. Of course we can build a Titanic model in 2 days, when we could have had 2 wks. I can put everythingg on hold. I CAN fit everything in. Except sleeping and eating and good temper. I want to be a MUM. Not a slave. I want respect and obedience. With both, we would have time for trips out. I could enjoy trips out. Maybe even afford better ones and holidays. Or, we can just carry on as we are. Me working, nagging and cleaning up, too tired, not enough energy to promote business. Sorry, folks, got a bit carried away!! Am removing cables from xbox right now until I get their attention. That will be a killer as they are on half-term right now. THEY WILL START TO LISTEN TO ME. Wouldn't care but DAD, my ex, bought the bloody things against my wishes, and boys have really changed since. So now, instead of threatening to take away xbox time, They need to earn it back. Thank you so much for this article. It has made me realise how much I let the xbox 'babysit' whilst I worked (I'm a dog groomer working at home), and I grow most of our fruit and veg, which then needs freezing, drying or preserving in other ways. All time-consuming. Now, on a holiday, they can help me. It will be harder at first, but hopefully will pay off in the long run. Got a quiet work week that I was hoping to use to catch up with other jobs, but it appears to me that I should use that time to re-train my boys. Wish me Luck!!!

nannyknowsbest

Absolutely love it, it sounds just like my house, I'm printing it of for my kids to read.

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