Here in the GoodtoKnow office we've been reminiscing about all the times we might not have told our little angels the whole truth...
Not exactly, anyway. Recognise any of these, ladies?
1. When we moved house and your box of ‘precious items' was miraculously lost
Yeah, lost in the depths of a landfill site...
2. When your goldfish 'disappeared' and and we decided he had escaped and gone to live at Seaworld
I have never been so grateful that you're dad had fixed the flush on the toilet.
3. ... And ditto for when the dog ran away
That farm in the sky is getting mighty crowded!
4. And for those of us who don't own pets (as much as you've tried otherwise), it is absolutely TRUE that daddy is allergic to them
But only the ones covered in fur. He is not allergic to goldfish.
5. When your beloved teddy bear went on holiday and then posted himself home
Luckily dad found one in the bargain bin in Woolworths after we left yours on the plane.
6. Remember when grandad ate all your Easter eggs?
I had them with a glass of wine.
7. When I told you I was a mind-reader because I always knew what you were talking about in your room
I kept the baby monitor in there long after I told you I had.
8. When your toy keyboard broke and had to be taken to the repair shop.
Unless the problem is that I took the batteries out and our attic is now a repair shop.
9. When I was eating that funny-looking fruit and you said you didn't want any
I was actually eating a bar of Dairy Milk Fruit and Nut. And yes it doesn't matter it was a family sharing size.
10. When we are in a restaurant and there seems to be onions (which you hate) in all the meals you want
I say there's onion in it so I can make you order something cheaper. Well I am paying.
11. When we had to stop going to your favourite playground because there were repairs. Forever.
My boss had started taking her children there and there is not enough coffee in the world to deal with that.
12. All the cereal (and Tiramisu desserts) that you like are weirdly spicy...
I just tell you that because it's just expensive and delicious and I want it all for myself.
13. That hamster that's outlived all of your friend's pets?
The cat got really fed up that you kept leaving the cage door open. We are actually now on hamster version IIII.
14. I never know what I'd actually do if you let me count all the way to 3.
Thank you for always doing what you're told just in time.
15. I actually hate CBeebies.
I'm good at faking it though, right?
16. You know your favourite orange 'mash potato'?
Yes that's blended carrot.
17. And those pink baby sausages we've eaten a lot of recently?
Prawns. You can stop telling your grandparents you don't eat seafood now.
18. When I remind you that I'll know you've not brushed your teeth because all your teeth will fall out of your mouth
Well eventually they might fall out, but not while you're asleep tonight.
19. Yes darling, you can stay up until 10pm tonight...
We changed the clock on the landing. It's 7pm.
20. When we have pizza as a treat for you behaving so well all week
We have it because it's Saturday and there is no way I'm cooking again. But thanks for behaving all week.
21. When I told you we were barred from the Disney shop for singing Frozen too enthusiastically
How I only wish we were.
22. When your neon pink leggings sadly disappeared from your wardrobe
And I'm sorry to confirm but they will not be returning.
23. The ice cream truck plays a song because they've 'run out of ice-cream'
And I can't bear the disapproving look you give me when I tell you I have no coins.
24. When I tell you if you don't do your homework this evening you'll fail everything in life
I just want you to do your best because you make me so proud.