Sinead Hingston, 35, lost her husband Geoff, 37, five years ago following just seven months of marriage, while she was 19 weeks pregnant with their baby.
In a Facebook post that’s gone viral the mum recounts how she ‘chose to live’ but admits her pregnancy was the only thing that kept her going through her loss. In the post, which she shared in a bid to help share a suicide prevention message, she says 'there is always hope. Time is a wonderful thing we all take for granted in everything we do.'
Sinead was just 30 when Geoff died. He was on holiday in Portugal and died while swimming during a boat trip.
Following the tragic news Sinead describes how her ‘reality hit’. She explains she was ‘widowed’ had ‘nowhere to live’ had ‘no life insurance’ and was forced to move back to Ireland from London. Speaking about that time she said, ‘I have never felt a wave of darkness wash over me as quick as I did that day.’
Admitting that from the moment she found out about Geoff’s passing until the birth of her daughter, months later, Sinead found it hard to process everyday living.
She says, ‘I don't remember a huge amount from the moment I got that news... "I'm sorry we did everything we could, he didn't make it". I laughed nervously. Then I passed out. I don't remember much, apart from being surrounded by people/faces all the time, until in and around the time my waters broke.’
With the birth of her baby Sinead felt a new wave of devastation, saying, ‘Nothing could have prepared me for that bit. The pain in my heart that he would never get to meet her.’
In the post she reveals the love she feels with her daughter, and talks about how she’s been able to meet a new partner in time, who her daughter ‘adores’.
Still at her parents’ house, and now saving for a new home, Sinead says ‘there is light at the end of my once very dark, very scary tunnel.’
Reaching out to anyone in a similar situation to hers Sinead says, ‘there are days where I really just want to curl up under a duvet and not leave the house, but I make myself, because I know that feeling will pass.’ Before adding, ‘when you hit the bottom, the ONLY way is up again.’
She rounds off the post by saying, ‘talk to people, they will want to help but they need to know you feel that way (we are scarily amazing at hiding how bad we can feel). Do that for as long as it takes, because time will help you rebuild, it will help you feel better. That I promise you.’