Ben Patterson, who lives in California with his family, posted the screenshots of his hilarious text exchange with wife Stephanie after a particularly eventful afternoon with son Declan.
Left alone with the toddler, Ben was driving him home, while his wife went out for dinner with some friends. However, the father got a little more than he bargained for.
Ben begins the story with a photo of Declan covered in vomit and simply explaining; 'On the way home, projectile vomit occurred and the whole time my wife wasn't answering her phone....'
After Stephanie failed to reply (who wants to look at their vomit-covered child when you're out with friends?) Ben bombarded her with messages about how the scene was dramatically unfolding.
'I just pulled over and trying not to throw up on myself.'
'I just threw up trying to clean him up, it smells SO bad.'
To make the situation even worse Ben started to feel a little nauseous himself; 'I'm standing on the side of the road dry heaving, I can't even be in the car it's so awful. I seriously don't know what to do, I'm barfing every time I try to clean him up.'
'I'm puking on some lady's lawn in Burlingame and she comes out to ask me if I'm drunk while driving the kids. I'm trying to explain that I'm a sympathetic vomiter and can't handle the smell.'
As if the situation wasn't bad enough, Ben thought his wife needed some additional drama; 'This is SO BAD. Aaaand now the cops showed up, because they have nothing better to do in Burlingame and now a breathalyzer. You owe me so big.'
Since the story went viral, with nearly 160,000 shares and 98,000 likes, Ben admitted that the climax of the story had been added in for dramatic effect; 'Glad so many people found it so funny! I just wanted to clarify that while the rest of the story is true, the part about the police coming and the breathalyzer was just something I added for dramatic effect for my wife in the moment.
'Now that the story has blown up, I wouldn't want anyone to think badly of the Burlingame PD because I was joking! The truth counts. I actually went down to Burlingame PD and chatted with them and we had a good laugh about things.'