Do you prefer one child to the others?

You may not be able to admit it to anyone but preferring one child over another is perfectly normal – and far more common than you may think. Here are a few reasons why it happens in families and how to cope with it

1. She’s so good

Some children are more challenging than others and cause you more problems. If your preferred child was an easy, contented baby who slept through the night and smiled and gurgled on cue, then your experience of her will have been positive from the very beginning.

If your relaxed baby then became a cheerful, straightforward, compliant child, it’s not hard to see why you could have a soft spot for her.

2 You’d always longed for a girl… or a boy

We all pretend we don’t have any preference over the sex of our children. We say ‘as long as they’re healthy that’s all that matters.’ But the truth is, many of us do secretly yearn for either a girl or a boy.

And if we finally get our chosen sex, we are naturally delighted. Many women want a daughter because they imagine sharing girly activities and having a ‘friend for life.’

This doesn’t always happen of course! But providing you keep these dreams to yourself (and realise they are only dreams) there’s no harm in them.

3. She’s so like your mum/your gran/a loved one you’ve lost

A child who bears an uncanny resemblance to a sadly missed relative, whether in looks, personality or both, will always feel special.

She’s a reminder of the person you’ve lost and she could also bring you comfort, reassuring you that those familiar family qualities will live on.

– Read on: more reasons why you may prefer one child, plus how to deal with it