Funny things your kids say

Kids say the funniest things, don't they? But sometimes they're just down right embarrassing! We've gathered some of your best stories

Funny things kids say
(Image credit: Rex)

Kids say the funniest things, don't they? But sometimes they're just down right embarrassing! We've gathered some of your best stories

My daughter once shouted to me in a shop, 'Oh, Mum, is "f**k" swearing?' Julie, via facebook

Got a funny quote? Leave it as a comment in the box below or tell us on Facebookand in our Forums!

Cow's boobies

(Image credit: Rex)

My 4-year-old daughter announced to the whole shop that milk comes from a cow's boobies - I was mortified! I was laughing and blushing so much! It's because I've just had a baby and she asked what her baby brother was doing so I said drinking his milk - so she put 2 and 2 together and came up with 5. I had to explain that they're not called boobies on a cow they are called udders.

Dolina, via FacebookGot a funny quote? Leave it as a comment in the box below or tell us on Facebook and in our Forums!

Their ideal scenario

Teacher in prison

(Image credit: Istock)

I once asked my 3-year-old why his nursery teacher wasn't in nursery that day and he told me she'd gone to jail for shouting at him. It turned out she was off sick with a sore throat!

Alison, Brighton

Got a funny quote? Leave it as a comment in the box below or tell us on Facebook and in our Forums!

Too much information

Beard

(Image credit: Istock)

My 3 -year-old to a man with a lot of facial hair: 'My Daddy's got a beard, but my Daddy's beard is on his willy!'

Ann, via Facebook

Got a funny quote? Leave it as a comment in the box below or tell us on Facebook and in our Forums!

The best insult

Funny things kids say

(Image credit: Rex)

We were at a picnic with my 3-year-old daughter and some geese came near the table - my daughter stood up on the table, kicked and shouted, 'Boggle off!

Jayne, Leeds

Got a funny quote? Leave it as a comment in the box below or tell us on Facebook and in our Forums!

Dad's really busy

Ludo

(Image credit: Istock)

When asked what her dad does at work, my three-year-old daughter said 'he buys things and plays games'. If only that was a way to make money - he actually sells vintage clothes!

Sophie, London

Got a funny quote? Leave it as a comment in the box below or tell us on Facebook and in our Forums!

What's black and white and lives in the garden...

Funny things kids say

(Image credit: Rex)

My son once came running into the kitchen very excited and informed me: 'Mummy, I've just seen a penguin in the garden.' When I went outside, there was a magpie.

Karen, Liverpool

Got a funny quote? Leave it as a comment in the box below or tell us on Facebook and in our Forums!

Moose or mousse?

Funny things kids say

(Image credit: Rex)

There was a stuffed animal's head on the wall at an old manor house we were visiting. My son asked, 'What animal is that?' I replied, 'A moose,' to which my son asked, 'Is it a chocolate mousse?' I don't think he understood.

Debra, via facebook

Got a funny quote? Leave it as a comment in the box below or tell us on Facebook and in our Forums!

A lot of effort

Australia

(Image credit: Istock)

My 4-year-old was asking this morning why her great aunt and uncle live in Australia. I explained they used to live in England but moved house. She looked at me puzzled and said, 'So they pushed their house all the way to the other side of the world?'

Victoria, via Facebook

Got a funny quote? Leave it as a comment in the box below or tell us on Facebook and in our Forums!

Just a hug!

Monkeys hugging

(Image credit: Rex)

My 8-year-old son was hugged by a girl in school. His friend then told him they'd just had sex, so when he came home from school he asked his 16-year-old brother how often he and his girlfriend have sex... priceless.

Cathy, via FacebookGot a funny quote? Leave it as a comment in the box below or tell us on Facebook and in our Forums!

Ungrateful!

Funny things kids say

(Image credit: Rex)

I took my 4-year-old daughter to the zoo and sat her on the front row for the falconry show - she turned around to the people behind and said 'I don't know why they've brought me here, they know I don't like birds!'

Christine, Portsmouth

Got a funny quote? Leave it as a comment in the box below or tell us on Facebook and in our Forums!

Where to next? Our fun celeb kids gallery

The secret of getting your toddler to behave

75 ways to entertain your toddler

GoodtoKnow

Trusted, informative, and empathetic – GoodToKnow is the ultimate online destination for mums. Established in 2007, our 15-year-strong archive of content includes more than 18,000 articles, 1,500 how-to videos, and 7,000 recipes.