Giovanna Fletcher has opened up about her experience of miscarriage to mark Baby Loss Awareness Week, telling fans how vividly she recalls the loss.
Taking to Instagram to share her memories of the heartbreaking moment with her 895k followers, author Giovanna explained that she’d been worried about conceiving in the past.
‘I’d always been maternal. I’d always been the ‘mother’ in the group,’ she wrote. ‘I loved babies and children. But a doubt lingered.’
Despite being diagnosed with polycystic ovaries in her early twenties, Giovanna fell pregnant almost immediately after she and husband Tom started ‘not, not trying’ – a development which she admits made her worried, rather than overjoyed.
‘After years of worrying about my fertility, it had happened in just a couple of months,’ she continued. ‘The realisation made me fear it was all too easy. I don’t know how, but part of me knew the pregnancy wasn’t going to lead to a baby being in my arms at the end of the nine months.’
Sadly, Giovanna’s fears came true, as she suffered a miscarriage six weeks later.
‘I never got to hear a heartbeat or marvel at a scan of my first little baby,’ she grieved. ‘It was over so abruptly. I remember everything about that morning so vividly. The pain, the loss, the feeling of completely failing myself and Tom. I was crushed, angry and hurting.’
Giovanna and Tom now share two sons, Buzz, who was born in March 2014, and Buddy, who arrived in February 2016, but it wasn’t until this year that Giovanna revealed that the pair had previously lost a child.
Speaking during a BUILD talk to promote her book Happy Mum Happy Baby back in February, she said that she’d chosen to speak out because she thinks that many women are ‘scared to say something’.
‘I felt like I could never say anything to friends because people feel like it’s contagious,’ she detailed at the time.
‘It’s a really rubbish thing that happens and it happens to so many people. All you really want in that moment is a hug. You feel like your body has failed you and that’s your first experience as a mother.’
Concluding her message on Instagram, Giovanna echoed these sentiments, adding: ‘Let’s not have mothers and fathers going through the emptiness alone. Let’s learn how to talk about the grief and how to keep the spirit of those special little souls alive.’
Fans have rushed to thank her for her honesty about such a difficult subject, with many sharing their own stories in empathy.
‘My heart breaks for you and your beautiful family, the heartbreak a miscarriage causes cannot be put into words,’ one commented. ‘I also lost a little one at 11+5 weeks and the anxiety that follows when another baby is conceived is terrifying.’
‘I am thrilled you have your two beautiful rainbows to keep your heart happy and I have no doubt that our babies are in the stars watching over us.’