An new mum has asked if she’s unreasonable to say that she doesn’t want visitors after giving birth to her second child.
Posting on parenting site Facebook under the name ColdFeetWarmHeart, the frustrated mum vented her thoughts on the topic of eager visitors when you’ve just given birth and are likely to be at your most tired and emotional.
Not only that, a newborn’s immune system is not fully developed, and so there
are health concerns to bear in mind when receiving visitors.
She started the post by saying: ‘Is it just me or are there a lot of people who
think they have some right to see a squishy newborn?’
‘My friends have sent messages saying “Congratulations, let us know when
you’re up for visitors/meeting up” etc. Lovely.’
‘But family, especially family that you don’t see much of normally, expect to come around and see you when the baby is a couple of days old.’
As well as highlighting the visitors’ bad timing, she explained that they aren’t thinking about how about how it might impact on her as she recovers from birth and adjusts to life with a newborn.
‘There is never any question of “Is mum ready for it?” Or “Is it convenient?” “No of course not!” she blasted.
‘Would it be unreasonable to book a last minute break in a cottage in the middle of nowhere, away with DH, and DD1 & 2 for a month and not tell anyone where we are?’
Many others parents agreed with her stance on visitors – ‘just say no… you don’t even need to be rude’, one urged.
‘If i were you I’d set my text messages to an automatic reply saying something like “thank you for your message but we are currently enjoying our new addition please be patient and we’ll get back to you ASAP” it might give people the hint to leave you alone and that way you don’t have to worry about what excuse you can give them all 😀’ another advised.
However, some thought she ought to embrace having visitors who wanted to share her baby joy.
‘We had an open house from 2-4pm on a Saturday afternoon. Told everyone who asked if they could visit they were welcome to pop in for a coffee on that specific day,’ commented one parent.
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‘Maybe it’s because a squishy newborn is about the best thing anyone could ever wish to see…. a new baby is life-affirming, sweet, gorgeous, hopeful, and so much more besides. It makes people feel so much better about life in general’, a second suggested, while another sarcastically replied: ‘I bet they have the audacity to bring you gifts as well. Complete b*****ds eh?’
‘That said, all you have to do is say “No, it’s not convenient”.’
What do you think? Should new mums welcome visitors or be comfortable saying now? Let us know in the comments box below.