One mum, Mel Watts, has written a very honest account of how parenthood affects your relationship.
In a Facebook post that’s since gone viral with nearly eight thousand likes Mel reveals that she never would have believed how her marriage would change post-kids, had she been told pre-children.
‘If someone told me years ago that my relationship would one day change, I would have laughed and said no way,’ Mel reveals. She also talks about lying in bed crying in her post and being ‘mad’ at both herself and her husband for letting things change.
However, the mum also notes that despite her emotions she knows that it’s nobody’s fault and ‘It’s just a moment in our life where I can say – it’s not all roses and handcuffs.’
She goes on to say, ‘The long date nights have gone. The sleep-ins are non existent. The surprise weekends away, we can no longer afford them.’
‘The long hot showers, are now lukewarm and we’re tag teaming kids in between. The late nights are now laying there silently with our backs to each other hoping the other one will get up for the crying baby.’
And it’s not just the time they spend together that’s changed, Mel says that it’s also the time they spend apart that has become different. The mum notes that text messages are less romantic and now involve shopping lists rather than proclamations of love.
Mel, who is the writer behind the parenting blog The Modern Mumma, says that shaving has now become a thing for ‘birthdays, nights out and possibly [I mean possibly] because I just simply feel bad for him’ only.
Yet despite her realisation that her relationship has changed considerably Mel is committed to putting her children first.
‘The children have become the number one priority and at some point we need to learn to put our relationship towards the top of that priority list. I think in time it will become that way again.
‘You have to make it past these difficult times to get there. It’s not that it’s even difficult, it’s just different. And sometimes different is really hard.’
She concludes her post by asking : ‘Is the romance dead?’ Before answering, ‘No. It’s very much alive but it also has another three humans involved, so it’s not as easy anymore.’