Mum-of-seven and writer Tara Wood was having a bad week – but little did she know the old adage ‘things could be worse’ was about to ring very true for her and her brood…
An account on her Facebook page of a particularly crazy family moment has resonated with parents everywhere, with over 20k comments and 69k shares.
Firstly she apologised for being absent from her profile during the week, explaining that the family dog was hit by a car. She wrote: ‘… He had to have a hind leg amputated. His remaining leg was pretty mangled too, so he’s had to have his wounds cleaned and bandaged every day.’
The mum went to admit that she’s spent most of her time doting on him and alternately crying about his injuries.
‘It’s been an emotionally and physically challenging week’, she continued.
‘But then life delivered some super f***ery yesterday morning which let me know that things were pretty much back to our abnormal normal around here.’
Describing how she and her daughter Mia noticed a burning smell so after checking the toaster and the straighteners, all the usual culprits – she started to panic as the smell was getting stronger.
Shaking her husband awake while ‘low key screaming’: ‘WAKE UP SOMETHING IS ON FIRE BUT I CAN’T FIND WHAT IT IS AND WE’RE ALL ABOUT TO DIE I THINK!’
To which her husband replied calmly: ‘What now?’
‘B***H SOMETHING IS BURNING IN THIS HOUSE AND THERE ARE SIX KIDS AND A HOBBLED DOG AND WE ALL NEED TO ESCAPE RIGHT NOW PUT ON YOUR PANTS AND HELP ME NOT DIE WOULD YOU?’
Eventually, after running around like ‘a mouse on meth’ Tara spotted the burning was from a sock on her son Leo’s light fixture.
‘OH MY GOD HOLY S**T WHAT IS EVEN HAPPENING LEO YOUR SOCK IS ABOUT TO CATCH OUR HOUSE ON FIRE WHY IN THE HELL IS YOUR STANKY SOCK ON THE LIGHT FIXTURE? WE COULD HAVE HAD A SOCK FIRE!’ she exclaimed.
But after using her young daughter’s doll as an extension to flick the flaming sock off, her son just ‘sheepishly’ shrugged his shoulders and said: ‘Sock fire would be a cool l name for a band.’
To which the exasperated mum replied: ‘YOU UNDERSTAND THAT THIS COULD HAVE BEEN CATASTROPHIC, RIGHT? AND YES THAT WOULD BE A COOL BAND NAME BUT RIGHT NOW I NEED YOU TO OPEN THE WINDOWS AND WINDMILL YOUR ARMS AROUND BECAUSE THE SMELL IS ALL IN MY MOUTH AND I JUST WASHED MY HAIR AND IMMA BE P****D IF I SMELL LIKE A BONFIRE TODAY GET TO FLAILING, FIRESTARTER!’
It took a Xanax, round of deep breathing and a cup of coffee before the mum had calmed down.
Then one of her children immediately announced her two-year-old daughter was standing outside holding a ‘sleeping’ squirrel. Only it wasn’t sleeping. It was dead. As a doornail.
The mum continued: ‘Hand to God this was five minutes after stomping out a smouldering sock on our floor.’
Tara had to bribe her daughter with Doritos and a fudge pop, but she eventually got her daughter to allow her to properly dispose of the squirrel-in a plastic bag.
And top it all off, all of this occurred before 7am, which means her day must have only gotten better from there.
However, Tara can take some small comfort in the fact that she’s not alone, as the comment from other parents feeling her pain rolled in.
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‘Is she me? Or am I her?’ one joked, whilst another said: ‘I feel like I just slipped into another dimension after reading that…’
A third admitted: ‘I’m feeling much better about my mornings’ posted another.
One follower posted simply: ‘ I don’t know whether to laugh or cry…’ Where as this Facebook fan couldn’t contain it: ‘OMG, Tara! I’m dying!!!! 😂😂😂😂👏👏👏👏’
What’s the worst morning you’ve ever had as a mum? Let us know in the comments below!