11 times you weren’t the mother you thought you’d be

Motherhood. It ain’t exactly a walk in the park.

In those blissful pregnancy days, the weary-wise mums around you would peddle their tales of woe saying things like: ‘It’s not all babycinos and monkey music you know, it’s hard work!’ You’d smile and nod, give your burgeoning belly a little rub while peering at their unbrushed hair and wondering why on earth they’d let their nipper out in such a grubby coat.

A few months pass, out pops your baby and then one day you stop and look around you. The cat’s licking the empty yogurt pot in the middle of the living room floor, it’s 2pm and you’re still in your onesie and Peppa Pig has been on repeat for four hours.

Here are 11 times motherhood didn’t work out quite how you planned.

1. CBeebies is your very best friend in the whole wide world.

2. You look at this happening and think ‘that’s saved me a job’.

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3. You use a dummy to keep them quiet (and have learnt how to keep it in place with a strategically-placed soft toy).

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4. You’ll go to literally any length to get them to sleep. 

5.You try not to laugh when they’re having their latest tantrum (but you never quite manage it).

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6. Terry nappies didn’t happen.

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7. Nor did ‘the routine’. They sleep wherever they like, whenever they like.

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8. Your evening routine, however, was established pretty early on.

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7. Along with the realisation that your beautiful home is now under the control of large, plastic, colourful items.

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8. Sometimes you find yourself wishing for just a minute’s peace.

9. And from time to time, you lose your patience.

10. But they’re still the happiest kids in the whole darn world.

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Crafted from the finest Internets.

And really, that’s all that matters, isn’t it?

Where to next?

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as Frozen

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kids in the countryside

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And and Dec