School dinners these days just aren’t what they used to be.
Don’t get us wrong – from a nutritional standpoint, they’re definitely better, and we’re glad our kids are consuming actual vitamins rather than the mountain of beige we used to feast on at our old lunch tables.
However, there’s something so comforting about the sugary, carb-laden school dinners of yesteryear, that we couldn’t resist taking a little walk down memory lane.
If you remember cornflake tart, pink custard and turkey nuggets galore, we imagine this will ring more than a few bells for you…
We’ll open with the king of the school dinners: the turkey twizzler
We love you Jamie Oliver, but we don’t love the fact that these aren’t around any more.
Closely followed in our hearts by the humble turkey dinosaur
Very disappointing when you grow up to find that no other foods are dinosaur shaped.
However, if we’re honest with ourselves, most British school dinners were built on a solid foundation of fried potato
Smileys and curly fries and waffles, we were spoilt for choice.
Whether it was a burger and chips…
Plus more salt and ketchup than one human should ever consume.
…pizza and chips…
And beans, why not?
or a sausage roll. And chips…
Basically, what pastry definitely needs is another carb on the side.
The only time you’d consider consuming a vegetable was roast dinner day
Although you’d still try to get rid of the carrots to make space for roasties.
Which is why jacket potato day always felt positively virtuous
Except when you were last in line and got a hard one.
(Cheese flan day, not so much)
Cheese pie, cheese tart – whatever you called it, it’s food for the soul, for sure.
However, it was in the dessert dishes that school dinners really began to shine
If you weren’t covering them in pink custard, you weren’t doing it right.
A vast array of tarts – cornflake…
So dry, so delicious.
Video of the Week
Essentially sugar high pie.
Jam and shortcrust, what’s not to like?
Classic sponge cake, smothered in sprinkles
The school probably had a separate budget for hundreds and thousands.
Or if they were feeling fancy, jam and coconut
The closest you ever got to actual fruit.
Artic roll always caused a frenzy
Ice cream felt particularly exotic…
But nothing would get the queues growing quite like a slab of chocolate concrete
Anyone who knows a school who still makes this, point us in their direction, STAT.