The X Factor judge welled up when describing the moment he was told his father Eric had died in 1999.
'It wasn't, wasn't good,' says Simon, 50.
'It was a horrible, horrible, horrible time, like I said. You believe everyone is going to live forever and they don't.
'And all the stuff you think you care about, the hit records and stuff like that, it's just meaningless.'
Simon says he finds it difficult to cope with death.
'I can't admit things,' he says on ITV show Piers Morgan's Life Stories. 'That's why I can't go to funerals and stuff like that.
'I find it very, very difficult to deal with that kind of reality. I shut myself off totally because it affects me so badly.'
Simon's interview on Piers Morgan's Life Stories airs on Saturday 6 March.
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