Do I need any treatment for miscarriage?

Lesley, 8 months

We started trying for a baby in 1996 and was referred for IVF in 2000. We had our first cycle of IVF in 2002 that was unsuccessful. Three more failed attempts followed over the next 2 years. I was over the moon to get pregnant on cycle number 5 in 2005 and went on to have my wonderful daughter Molly. I have always wanted 2 children and so decided to have another go for a sibling for Molly. Our cycle worked first time! I had always had a good feeling about it. Life could not get any better. Until 20th March when I started to bleed and the following morning when all the tissue came away. I'm still bleeding 3 days later and have a hospital appoinment tomorrow morning for a scan, but I hold out no hope. It really would have to be a miracle for a tiny embryo to survive in there with no womb lining. I feel andgry and sad, fed up and uncertain if I will ever complete my family. We can not pay for IVF for ever in the hope that one day we will. Life just seems so unfair.

Sue, 12 months

I suffered a miscarriage back in Feb of this year. It was my first pregnancy and my husband and I have talked about having kids for years and were just waiting for the right time. We conceived straight away which was great but the miscarriage to follow was not pleasant at all. I think its a really difficult thing to deal with, especially when it's your first because you have such a mixture of emotions. We were informed at my first scan that they could see the sac but could pick up no heart beat. What is heart breaking is when you hear of other couples who cried seeing there baby for the first time, yet you leave hospital with no pictures and a real feeling of emptiness. I really empathise with anyone who has experienced or is going through miscarriage right now, however, is does get easier... you will have a real roller coaster of emotions but you can get through it! What I did was to give my body a chance to heal and have some tests done at the Doctors to eliminate any abnormalties. My miscarriage started at home and ended horribly in hospital as I had to have an internal and tablets to pass everything as my body was struggling to clear itself. The experience is an unpleasant one but be sure to share your feelings with mums, sisters and friends and dont feel bad about them. Deal with it in the best way you know how and dont give up hope that you will have children. Just do everything in your power to eat well, exercise and stay positive. We can do it ladies!!!!!!!!!

Anne, about 1 year

I started spotting on the May bank holiday Monday. I was seeing my midwife for my booking apt the following monday so decided to wait to see what she suggested as I had had severe bleeding at 12 weeks when pregnant with my daughter. Unfortunately my midwife cancelled, so I called them up and left a message. She got back to me the next day (tuesday) and arranged a scan for me for the Wed. I was looking at the screen during the scan, and there was nothing there. The sonographer asked if I was sure of my dates, I was. She then said she was very sorry, but all she could see as a pregnancy sac but no development at all. She said by this stage (10 weeks) there should be something visible, but there just wasnt. I saw a doctor who gave me a leaflet and explained my options. I opted to 'let nature take its course'. That night I had severe backache and got up to get some paracetamol and a hot water bottle. I felt the mc start so rushed to the toilet. I sat there for a bout half an hour whilst it all came away. I saw the sac, there was a lot of blood and 'flesh'. The backache eased a bit, and I also had mild period-like cramps. I harldy slept that night as was so upset. The next day the bloodloss was no worse than a light period. I passe what I assume was the placenta later that day. The backache and cramps eased to practically nothing. I passed a bit more of the placenta on the Friday. I am still bleeding, but its very light and I am not having any pain. I have an appt for another scan for 28th May (made at my last scan apt). I read up a bit about mc before it happened as I suspected something was wrong as I had lost all my pg symptoms, and I just felt 'wrong' in a way I hadnt with my previous pregnancies. The type of bleeding I had (brown,and some blood streaked discharge) indicated a missed mc. I also read up about the different options when the bleeding started, as I wanted to be prepared. I read that a d&c carries a risk of perforation of the womb, bladder or bowel (this was also mentioned in the leaflet from the doctor) and there is also a higher risk of womb infection. Whereas a 'natural' mc can mean heavier bleeding and more pain. Im glad I chose the natural option, even tho it was distressing and uncomfortable. I feel that it was nature that decided to end the pg, not me. And I feel it has allowed me to grieve more naturlally too. It was a private event, and that was the right thing for me. The staff were fantastic. Very sympathetic, understanding and just nice. I am hoping to get pregnant again quite quickly, and pray that it will be a better out come if I am lucky enough to conceive again. My thoughts, sympathies and prayers are with anyone and everyone who has to go thru this awful, traumatic and heartbreaking experience. xx

Rebecca, about 1 year

Hi there, i have recently miscarried my first child. Both me and my partner were absolutely estatic when we found out we were expecting a baby but all that changed when we went for the first scan. The midvife told me that there was no heartbeat and that our baby had died at roughly 6 weeks but I had to wait two weeks before they could take any action. I was told there was no hope as my sac was the size of a 3 month old pregnancy but I still had to wait. I was due to go back on new years day but sadly i started bleeding on christmas day, it was the most horrific experience i have ever been through. I was in and out of hospital over chrismas and new year as I was loosing a lot of tissue and bleeding severly. I was at home when I lost the actual baby and I will never forget what I saw! My family have been very surportive and my partner has been my light at the end of the tunnel. I understand it can be hard for the mothers whose daughters have miscarried....you have also lost a granchild and to see your own child go thorugh something so sad must be very painfull. My mum and I are very close and we talk about the baby often. Sometimes I don't want anything to be said just an understanding and a big cuddle from my mum! I have lernt a lot of things from my pregnancy that ended a lot sooner than I hoped and although my baby isnt here he has still changed my life forever!

catherine, about 1 year

I have just had my 2nd miscarriage ( first at 6 weeks in September) at 16 weeks and 6 days. I had no symptons but had just gone to my mid-wife for a routine check up. She could not find a heartbeat. I ended up going to hospital wre they confirmed that my baby had died. I was admittd to hospital the following day for a d&c , I have to say all the medical staff were fantastic and treated myself and my partner with a lot of respect. We are currently waiting for the results back to tell us why the baby has died. The hospital have said not to expect anything. The hardest thing is knowing that we had a nucal scan and the blood checks with everything coming back ok. We had even heard the heartbeat and thought that at this stage everything was ok. I know that at the back of mind it was nature's way of saying something wasn't right but it still doesn't take the pain away.

Elaine, about 1 year

I am a 27 yr old mother of 1 who has had 3 miscarriages in a row. The first one happened in june 2007 when i was 9 weeks, the second was in october 2007 when i was 5 weeks and the third was in december 2007 when i was 5 weeks. Both me and my husband were devastated the 1st time and were told that we could try again straight away, we did after a couple of months and the 2nd miscarriage happened while we were on holiday in crete. We were not happy with the care we received over there so discharged myself and kept in contact with my doctor over the phone till we returned. I was sent for a scan and everything was fine. We decided to try again after the new year but fell pregnant before hand, I felt something was wrong the week before xmas as I no longer 'felt' pregnant but i had no pain or bleeding then a couple of days later i started bleeding and had severe cramps. Once at the hospital the staff at a + e were suprised i hadnt been sent for a scan as soon as i told my doctor i was pregnant, I was disappointed with the lack of care i received or should i say didnt receive each time, we were seen by a number of people but wasnt scanned as it was a weekend and no one there was qualified to scan me so had to return in 2 days. was then told a heartbeat couldnt be found but still had to go to another hospital fo a 2nd opinion! After all of this i have a 15 minute appointment to speak to a consultant in march to discuss why i have had 3 in a row and see if they can find out why they happened. My heart goes out to everyone who has been through this, not just the mothers but the fathers aswell, and the rest of the family.

kerry, about 1 year

hiya,,i went for my 12week scan yesterday jan 14th 08 i was told my baby had died at 8weeks 5days iv had no bleeding but a feeling in my belly like a period n have had that feeling for bout 4weeks it has felt a lot stronger today,,i didnt want a d & c,,im so scared to have that done,,i have a scan on 28th jan to see what is happening,,is it normal to have lost the baby so many weeks ago n to still not have misscarried or bled,,im so scared and worried,,thinking that im not going to miscarry and that i will have 2 have a d & c,,if you have any answers for me please comment back

kerry Horwitz, about 1 year

My daughter has just miscarried at 2 and a half months. She wanted the baby very much, but her partner's parents didn't. I know that you tell women that 'working' is fine and nothing she did influenced the miscarriage. I know that these things can just happen, but I feel that this is said so women don't fell guilty, but can give men a free pass to not help or be supportive. My daughter works in a sports pub. She was working long hours, being yelled at by the management and given no breaks or allowed to sit down. She was tired and stressed and often had to run around after hundreds of football supporters, carrying heavy trays etc. She earns bearly over minimum wage but had on the day before the miscarriage no money for any food. My daughter never cries, she is a 'bottler'. But she cried to her partner that she was too tired and stressed from this job. He earns a good wage (more in one day that she did all week) and lives with his parents. he refused to support her finantially. After she began to bleed, I begged him to let her stay home, even just for a while till I could get her a more suitable job, but he still refused. I am disabled but said I would give him money if he let her stay home. It was too late and she lost the baby. I know you have to be careful not to blame the mother, but is this giving the man a licence to cop out of any sensible help a woman may need? He didn't even give her a little money for extra food. I think I have handled this very badly because my daughter thinks I am blaming her. She, I feel, is the last person I would blame. But I do blame him and his truly awful family. I can't help it. Blessings to you and my sympathy and prayers go out to all of you and your families, but what do other women think about this? Is a noble attempt to keep women from guilt meaning they are not getting the help a pregnant woman needs and should not be ashamed of needing? Kerry

Barbara Lowry, about 1 year

I found this page very helpful. I have just been discharged from hospital today after suffering a miscarriage. I have been bleeding since Saturday night and went and seen a doctor at our local NHS24, they put it down to a urine infection and gave me antibiotics. I saw my own GP on Monday morning after the bleeding was getting worse and again she only changed my antibiotic. I was left feeling that i was over-reacting but come Wednesday morning the bleeding was severe - i went to A&E was examined and sent home with pain killers and an appointment for pregnancy unit within 48 hours for a scan (at this point i was 10 weeks and this being the third doctor i had seen but still was not scanned). I went home but was back at A&E as i was passing tissue - a few hours later i was admitted. The scan the following day showed that i had miscarried but still had tissue in the womb but i have been discharged with antibiotics after 48 hours. Whilst on the ward i was seperated from the other woman (as gynaecological ward) and was completely alienated. I am hoping to start trying again after the new year but i will be demading scans if bleeding occurs again. For any women out the suffering from the same - please keep your chins up and don't let yourself get too low as it will eventually happen - i know it is hard but just stay positive.

natalie, over 2 years

hi there sue iv just had a miscariage and even though iv already got 2 other children i found it very distresing. i would try and talk yo your daughter and you know explain things happen for a reason and this was gods way it wasnt ment to be this time and even thought she might feel upset angry why it has happednd to her try to tell her that she will go on and have more children and not to blame herself as i did thought it was because i was doing too much but thats not the case these things happen and she isnt the only one it happens to quite a few women and that she isnt to blame i hope this has helped a little my thoughts go out to you and your daughter god bless x

Sue Conroy, over 2 years

It's ok to say talk about your feelings, but as the mum of someone who's just experienced a miscarriage It's hard to know how to respond. Any tips?