Some dos and don't about depression
- Don't bottle things up and 'go it alone'. Try and tell people who are close to you how you feel. It is not weak to cry or admit that you are struggling.
- Don't despair - most people with depression recover. It is important to remember this.
- Do try and distract yourself by doing other things. Try doing things that do not need much concentration but can be distracting such as watching TV. Radio or TV is useful late at night if sleeping is a problem.
- Do eat regularly, even if you do not feel like eating.
- Don't drink too much alcohol. Drinking alcohol is tempting to some people with depression as the immediate effect may seem to relieve the symptoms. However, drinking heavily is likely to make your situation worse in the long run.
- Don't make any major decisions whilst you are depressed. It may be tempting to give up a job, or move away, to solve the problem. If at all possible you should delay any major decisions about relationships, jobs, or money until you are well again.
- Do tell your doctor if you feel that you are getting worse, particularly if suicidal thoughts are troubling you.
- Sometimes a spell off work is needed. However, too long off work might not be so good as dwelling on problems and brooding at home may make things worse. Getting back into the hurly-burly of normal life may help the healing process when things are improving. Each person is different, and the ability to work will vary.
- Sometimes a specific psychological problem can cause depression, but some people are reluctant to mention it. One example is sexual abuse as a child leading to depression or psychological difficulties as an adult. Tell your doctor if you feel something like this is the root cause of your depression. Counselling may be available for such problems.
Will it happen again?
A 'one-off' episode of depression at some stage in life is common. However, some people have two, three, or more episodes of depression. You can have treatment for each episode. However, if you are prone to recurring episodes of depression, you may be advised to take an antidepressant long-term to prevent depression from recurring.
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Where to next?
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Post-natal depression
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What are the treatment options for depression?
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What are the treatment options for SAD (Seasonal Affective Disorder)?
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Depression: Help and advice
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More about light therapy for SAD
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Seasonal affective disorder and how to fight it
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Some particular features of SAD
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Under the microscope: Depression
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What are the symptoms of Seasonal Affective Disorder?
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What is seasonal affective disorder?
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Who gets Seasonal Affective Disorder?
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carolanne, about 1 year
My partner was diagnosed with depression and anxiety about 2 years ago. The doctor medicated him and arranged help for him .unfortunately he has declined to the point i am the cause of his illness .he doesn't interact at all. . i need some advice.
Report this commentlynda, about 1 year
I just browsed this site and would like to say it was reassuring to read others feeling the way I do at this present time. I got to a point that I felt like I was drowning and my life was out of control, I have always been a very strong person as I have had a lot to deal with in my life, i had mild depression off and on for a number of years, but thought depression would be seen as a weakness but lately my life came crashing in on me. I eventually saw my GP who is very supportive and changed my medication, put me off work for a while and referred me to CBT. My days are still black at the moment but I am positive (I have to hold on to that hope) that I'll be in control of my life again, (or coping anyway). I know there are many people suffering this awful illnes (1 in 3 adults) but you feel you cant really talk to family/friends, I felt I didnt want to burden them, so I just want to thank everyone that has posted a comment on this site it actually helps. thank you.
Report this commentJO, about 1 year
I have been a sufferer all my life and will always be a sufferer, it's part of my make-up and that of my biological brother. My dad ended his life through a will to die and an uncontrollable illness and I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy! I have always muddled through until now and have been off work for 3 months. It's got to the point now where I feel I can't go back! When I went to seek help, one counsellor (who is a bereavement counsellor) said if I didn't stop crying eveytime I mentioned my dad he couldn't help me, another said it's nothing to do with genetics it's how we've been conditioned as kids and another one said why have you come to see me, you seem to know it all and are like an expert on the subject! Plus the waiting list is that long that whilst waiting I am really bad then when help finally arrives, I seem to be going through an okay patch. My body aches, I cannot sleep, I am angry all the time and swear at my daughter not meaning to, it just comes out, I can't work because I do not have the energy to even shower every morning nevermind drive the car an hour to work, sit behind a desk for 8 hours and drive home for an hour. I have a big mortgage to pay and my insurance company take 7 months to pay out! People at work think I am taking the michael I'm sure they do and it's got to the stage now where I don't think I can return! To all other sufferers, you are not alone and like the common cold, there is no cure probably due to lack of funding!! hey ho!! :)
Report this commentRITA, about 1 year
I suffer with depresion, and have on and off for over ten years. My life feels worthless right now, when ever I hear of someone dying, I think why them and why not me, they did not want to die and I do. I would not commit sucide because it would tear my son apart, but I will not have things like smear tests, although I have had past problems because I do not care if I have a fatal illness, I want to die. I have had times when things have improved, but then they just get bad again. I have taken anti-depressants in the past and guess I will again soon. My husband does not understand and just thinks that I am lazy and good for nothing and tells me so on a regular basis, I feel so alone and worthless, and most of all unloved. My heart goes out to all you other sufferers out there I hope you have love and support and realise what a blessing this is.
Report this commentsteve waddington, about 1 year
my wife christine is a sufferer and hence anyone close to her suffers aswell,she is surrounded by family that love her without question ,i love her more than anything . she feels all the symtoms describe ere , we have been togather for 22yrs but depression as made her think that maybe we are the reason shes unhappy so desided to move out of the family home ,this decision as caused a lot of pain and grief to us ,we/i didnt even know she was a sufferer, thanks to your advise and information ( i for 1 didnt know or understand depression or its symtoms) maybe we can now support and care for her untill she is well again , it is not only the person who as depression that suffers but the people around them,christine thinks she worthless/useless/unhappy and looks for reasons why, not realising she is not any of these things ( its just the depression itself)i i love and miss her and want her to come home but now realise she needs to understand its the depresssion not the people around her,with love and support (and my new found understanding of depression and its symtoms ) we can help her and restore our family
Report this commentstephanie, about 1 year
I suffer from depression. This is the first time I have become both physically and mentally unable to take control of my life. At times I want to end it all. I am now being treated for my depression by a doctor and medication. It was the hardest thing I have had to do by facing up to the problem and consulting my doctor. Thankfully I have a very supportive partner, even though at times I have been very hurtfull to him he always stands by me. Things are a bit easier now. I try and do something positive every day, some days are better than others of course but there is light at the end of the tunnel. I would like to say to all sufferers of depression and their loved ones, that there is help out there. Try and understand that sometimes there doesnt have to be a reason for depression it is an illness that needs to be addressed and not stigmatised.
Report this commentLinda Mogford, about 1 year
Just like Kathleen Fisher my husband is depressed-so much so the only way he has been able to cope with things is to move out of our family home leaving myself and 4 children behind. The biggest problem I face is getting him to recognise that he is depressed and in need of further support. We have been married for 25yrs and together for 28yrs he has always been a most caring thoughtful supportive husband-over the past yr or so he has made some very hurtful decisions involving me! Because I care and love him I have explained my misgivings about his decisions and then moved on-he unfortunately isn't able to do this and is stuck in a very negative cycle saying things like why would you love someone like me--when i don't love you like i used to? Hurtful to say the least but because I do love and care for him and I know he is in a crisis I try as best I can to support him-this hasn't worked and his decision to move out has been devastating! He will be 50 on Dec 28th and I feel this alongside my son"s 21st in Nov and our 25th weding anniversary in Sept has contributed to his crisis-leading him to constantly question where his life has gone and why can't he be that happy(looking at photos of us on my 21st) again!! I have managed to encourage him to take St Johns Wort but any advice would be hugely appreciated!!
Report this commentchristopher killat, about 1 year
I have found this article helpful as i am a sufferer of depression. reading this has made me more determined to visit my doctor and seek help as i did'nt do this when i had a bad bout of depression before. alot of what was in this article related to me and will help me to understand this illness better.
Report this commentkathleen fisher, over 2 years
My husband is depressed and I need advise in how to help him.
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Natalie, about 1 year
I am only 23 but have had more than my fair share of bad life experiences.I was raped & sexually abused when I was 15 for about 5-6 months by my boyfriends father. I admit I wasn't the easiest of teens,but after yet another blazing row with my mother I this time ran away as I felt I couldn't cope anymore with her extremly self centered & suffocating ways. Only when I returned just a day later she refused to let me back in saying how I'd made my bed so I had to lie in it. So I turned to my boyfriend for help & his father had overheard me telling him what had just happened & invited me to stay with them untill it had all blown over. I started to skip school hiding in the park,untill my boyfriends dad caught me. Instead of telling me I should go back,he asked if I would help him to finish painting the frontroom. Thinking I'd got off lightly I agreed,then I was offered a drink of cider then another & pretty soon I was unable to paint anymore,so we sat and talked whilst having another drink. By this point I was so drunk I could even hold my head up,I can remember a bath being suggested to help sober me up. It wasnt untill he insisted I take off all my clothes before getting in, that I had any clue of what was happening. Even though I tried my best to resist this, he managed to undress me & put me in the bath. I also tried covering myself up with my hands best I could whilst insisting he left the room & that I'd be fine,but my attempts fell on deaf ears & the heat from the water was intensifying my drunken state. I can only recall him splashing water over me & stroking my skin,then nothing untill I realized I was on his bed and he was trying to orally pleasure me. I was so drunk however I couldn't even speak let alone try pushing him away. He then placed himself over me on the bed & forcefully raped me,I had lost consciousness again & remember nothing more. He continued to take advantage every week after this untill he moved out of the town. At which point I was aloud to move back home.
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