'A lightbulb suddenly went off in my head'
Living with autism
I was finally diagnosed with Asperger syndrome at the age of 45, although I'd basically diagnosed myself a couple of years beforehand.
I'd been working as a Further Education lecturer, teaching young adults who had severe autism and one day a lightbulb suddenly went off in my head.
Other teachers had always told me how well I related to them, and suddenly it all made sense.
Finally knowing for sure that I had Asperger's was a mixed blessing. Obviously it was a huge relief and I felt as if a big chunk of jigsaw had slotted into place and it confirmed how I am in certain areas of my life. The downside was the fear - about the future and what will happen to me.
I always felt different when I was a kid. Often, people with Asperger's find it hard to be emotional, but that was never the case with me. I was always very close to my brothers and sisters and was surrounded by love and warmth, when I was young.
I suppose where I'm different is that I can't react instantly to something that's emotional. Often I find myself crying about something that happened two or three days earlier.
Routine is quite an important of my life. It's all in the detail. I get a bit on edge, if roadworks disrupt my regular journey somewhere or there's a new signpost up. It's a tiny thing to most people, but as far as I'm concerned it should be on the 10 o'clock news.
Sound is another thing that affects me a lot. Just the tone of someone's voice can either upset me or make me really like them. It doesn't matter what they're saying, it's the way it sounds.
Being diagnosed has actually helped in the way I relate to the people I'm closest to. My personal relationships have improved and I finally feel that I can do things for myself, rather than fitting in with what other people want all the time.
There are times when it's a struggle and you definitely need to ask for help. Having autism can be quite isolating and it's easy to feel alone.
Overall, though, I'm proud of my disability - there are so many wonderful things about having it and I'm looking forward to the future, whatever it might hold.
Aly Gynn, 46, is an artist who lives in Suffolk
- Read Tanya's story about coping with Jack, who suffers from severe autism
- Read more in-depth information about autism on goodtoknow
- Find more specific information and support about Asperger syndrome
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sue, about 1 year
this was fascinating. I have not been able to work as I have suffered very badly with chronic depression but I did do youth work and seemed to have a knack of noticing the children who needed something extra and giving them what they needed as far as understanding, listening, patience etc. My name is Sue and I was diagnosed with Aspergers in December 2007. I am 43 years old and have always known that there was something different about me but, everyone just said I was naughty, disobedient, selfish etc etc. I was 10 when things first went wrong for me and all my family except my Mum just said I needed a good slap. My Dad would even put me in the car and say he was taking me to a childrens home. Anyway, I still live with my Mum who is 73 years old and we also have a friend living with us who is my carer. I am petrified of my Mum dying as her Mum died at 73 (when I was 10! ) and my Mum has been my rock. We moved to our present house 18 months ago after 33 years in our previous home. I have never really settled here but we wanted to be nearer by brother and his family. Unfortunately, 2 weeks before we moved, his wife left him and took the children. He has since re-married and has no time or interest in either me or our Mum which hurts a lot. Unfortunately my friend who lives with us became physically disabled after a routine kidney operation last year, left her with no feeling from the waist down. So we have to move house again as we live in a three storey town house. I am not doing at all well with all this upheaval. I struggled last time and it's even harder this time. We have found a house that we like and is suitable. It is valued at about £20,000.00 less than ours, but I am so scared that we won't get it because ours isn't sold yet. I can't deal with all the uncertainty and disruption of the process of buying and selling. Do you know of any way that we can secure the purchase of the house we want even though we haven't sold ours yet ? I desperately want to live somewhere where I can spend the rest of my life and I'm sure this is the place. I don't know what I'd do if we didn't get it. Please can you offer any help or advice ? Yours hopefully    Sue
Report this commentjosie, about 1 year
Very interesting to read. My son is 32 and is in the process of being assessed for aspergers. I have known for years that he has some problems but it's been a hard slog getting to this stage.
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Aly Gynn, about 1 year
Hi Sue, I am not commenting to offer advice - because i don't feel qualified. I do, however, wish you all the best with the changes you are facing. I would say take one step at a time and don't be afraid to talk to your friends. I have also found the National Autistic Society help line brilliant. Good luck with everything. Kind Regards, Aly
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