I have lost a stone and four pounds in the past two months and reached my goal weight of 8 stone. I still don't feel very thin though. I aim to lose another 7lbs at least but my will power is flagging a bit. Im on hoodia and have bought other kinds of pills to try after those so let's see how it goes! I just want to be thin really. I have been on and off bulimic for about ten years now but never severely properly bulimic. The past 2 weeks have been horrible though. Every day without fail I have had as many as seven episodes of bingeing and puking daily and it's driving me mad. I got about 3 easter eggs over the bank holiday weekend and ate them all in one sitting. Then ate more and more and more. Cereal, cakes, ice cream, crisps, bread, anything and everything we've got in..Just for the sake of it. Because my bingeing logic has been 'if I am going to throw up I might as well stuff myself to the brim anyway'. I eat to the point where my stomache is physically bulging out and feels like it's about to pop. And I feel awful cos whilst stuffing bowl fulls of cereal and milk down my neck I am thinking 'urgh can't eat anymore' yet the binge goes on until the kitchen is empty. Then I make myself puke and it is becoming painful. I make myself do it until i cannot bear it anymore and feel like I've gotten rid of all the food inside me. But I always feel like I probably havent got rid of it all and there is still a pounds worth of chocolate sat in the pit of my belly. If i still feel bloated i take 3 laxatives for peace of mind which is pointless i know cos they take 12 hours to work. During the week the problem is not so bad because when at work I can restrict what I eat and feel good about it. But on sunday i literally spent the whole day bingeing and purgeing. I hate myself for it. I have been so good for 3 months and now I keep slipping in to greedy beast mode. My weight is not budgeing and my stomache must be expanding surely. I am even sort of planning on what I can binge on tonight. I really don't want to but part of me says 'do it!'. Im not getting help for it though cos I am no where near thin enough to warrant that. Just hope it stops and I can be a good dieter again.

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I am 28 and have been bulimic for 4 years now, but have never admitted it to anyone other my partner, but still wasn't totally honest to the severity of it. I lost 3 1/2 stone in 3 months through emotion stress I was going through at the time becuase i just stopped eating. My doctor classed me as anorexic. But then it went from one extreme to the other and I discovered I could eat what i wanted and just get rid of it, although I've never stuck my fingers down my throat I can just make myself sick by self-stomach movement and leaning over the toilet. I never thought I was fat, but now I am so used to being so thin that I'm terrified of putting any weight back on. The severity of the bulimia has escalated over the years and I have become a complete recluse and have to make sure I can be on my own to "get my hit" if you like. I've not been one single day in 4 years without being sick at least once and most days a lot more than once. I am complete obsessed by food and it's all I think about, yet I don't want to live like this anylonger, but can't seem to function without doing it. The money I've spent on my binging over the years doesn't even bear thinking about. I am my heaviest now than I've ever been in the last 4 years at probably around 7 - 7 1/2 stones although I've not weighed myself, I daren't. I'm in such a mess and I want to get better because I want o be normaly and be able ot go out for a meal with friends instead of having to avoid social situations and I want to spend my time doing things I want to do rather than eating and eating and being sick. It's so pointless but I just cannot stop myself. I don't eat normally, all I eat is fruit and cereal, they're the only things I keep down. I starve myself most of the time and then the first opportunity of being alone, I go completely mad and ridiculous and binge on meals and anything I can basically get my hands on. I'm desperate to get better becuase it's a horrible life to live it really is. I'm not living, I'm just existing. I've not had a period for over 2 years and my biggest fear is that I've made mysefl infertile and I don't think I could live with that. I am so desperate to get help, but I just don't know where to begin. I know this site is for children and under 25's but I need someone to please help me before it's too late. Can anyone tell me where to go for help. Please, I'm so desperate and so miserable and my depression is so bad at the moment. I just don't know what to do anymore. My hair is very thin and malts so badly now and my coxic bone sticks out, I bruise so easily. Please, somebody please help me.

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i have been bulimic a couple of times when i get very down in myself i cant help but pig out or starve myself then throw up till there is nowt left, its a horrible thing to live with, i hated every minute but u cant stop it at the time i am sort of better now and tryin just to eat in moderation but still have flare ups of it especially that time of the month......... i help myself each time it happens tho i have seen councilors and they help a great deal but ive learnt to try and deal with it myself insted of bothering others....

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