'A lightbulb suddenly went off in my head'
Living with autism
I was finally diagnosed with Asperger syndrome at the age of 45, although I'd basically diagnosed myself a couple of years beforehand.
I'd been working as a Further Education lecturer, teaching young adults who had severe autism and one day a lightbulb suddenly went off in my head.
Other teachers had always told me how well I related to them, and suddenly it all made sense.
Finally knowing for sure that I had Asperger's was a mixed blessing. Obviously it was a huge relief and I felt as if a big chunk of jigsaw had slotted into place and it confirmed how I am in certain areas of my life. The downside was the fear - about the future and what will happen to me.
I always felt different when I was a kid. Often, people with Asperger's find it hard to be emotional, but that was never the case with me. I was always very close to my brothers and sisters and was surrounded by love and warmth, when I was young.
I suppose where I'm different is that I can't react instantly to something that's emotional. Often I find myself crying about something that happened two or three days earlier.
Routine is quite an important of my life. It's all in the detail. I get a bit on edge, if roadworks disrupt my regular journey somewhere or there's a new signpost up. It's a tiny thing to most people, but as far as I'm concerned it should be on the 10 o'clock news.
Sound is another thing that affects me a lot. Just the tone of someone's voice can either upset me or make me really like them. It doesn't matter what they're saying, it's the way it sounds.
Being diagnosed has actually helped in the way I relate to the people I'm closest to. My personal relationships have improved and I finally feel that I can do things for myself, rather than fitting in with what other people want all the time.
There are times when it's a struggle and you definitely need to ask for help. Having autism can be quite isolating and it's easy to feel alone.
Overall, though, I'm proud of my disability - there are so many wonderful things about having it and I'm looking forward to the future, whatever it might hold.
Aly Gynn, 46, is an artist who lives in Suffolk
- Read Tanya's story about coping with Jack, who suffers from severe autism
- Read more in-depth information about autism on goodtoknow
- Find more specific information and support about Asperger syndrome
Aly Gynn, 4 months [Offensive? Unsuitable? Report this comment.]
Hi Sue, I am not commenting to offer advice - because i don't feel qualified. I do, however, wish you all the best with the changes you are facing. I would say take one step at a time and don't be afraid to talk to your friends. I have also found the National Autistic Society help line brilliant. Good luck with everything. Kind Regards, Aly