Raising twins isn't a walk in the park but neither is looking after one baby. You've endured the pregnancy and now, for the first time in months you can see your feet again. So what next?
Your two new bundles of joy will need feeding, bathing, changing and to get some rest (thankfully) but how will you cope with just one pair of hands? Can you feed twins two at a time? Won't they wake each other up at night?
Let us help you by answering all those questions that might pop up in your first year as a mum of multiples.
If you've just found out that you're pregnant with twins, first read how to prepare for your twins.
Providing everything went smoothly with the birth and your twins weren't born too prematurely you should be home within a few days. These first few weeks will be tough and you just have to get through it the best you can, relying on help from everybody possible.
The ideal scenario is to get your twins into some sort of routine early on but, in reality, you might just find yourself just muddling through. And that's OK. Don't panic if you meet other mums that have their babies perfectly in sync. As long as they're being loved and looked after and you're coping, then who cares what anybody else is doing? Every mum is different and you have to find a a way to get through the first three months yourself.
'Exhaustion is the biggest thing a new mum of twins is up against and you are bound to feel like this. The most important thing to remember is that it's not a sign of failure. You're tired because you're getting no sleep not because you're unable to cope or your failing as a mother. Take every opportunity to get some rest. Nap when they're napping rather than worrying about doing housework. Don't sweat the small stuff. Your first priority is looking after your babies and you need to look after yourself to do that.
If you're feeling a bit blue and unable to cope I always found that it helped to take my twins out for a walk. Not only did that quite often soothe their crying but the amount of attention you get and people cooing over them is a good reminder that they are quite lovely and definitely worth the hard work.'
Founder of Twinsclub.co.uk and mum of twins, Lindsey Gray
'The biggest shock I had when I came home from hospital was that I wasn't ready for two babies that were so different. Tom wanted feeding every 3 hours and Millie wanted feeding all the time - they didn't fall into sync. Getting them into the same routine was a lot harder than it sounds. You get in a muddle and don't know what to do. My advice to any new mums is just do whatever works for you and you'll find a way to manage it somehow, even if it's not quite the perfect routine that everyone aims for.'
Karen Haynes, mum to twins Tom and Millie, 10
If you can get yourselves organised, then getting out and about with your babies is a really good idea. As getting everything together is such a hassle, it's easy to become a bit of a recluse with but why not try and join a twins club. Meeting other mums will give you someone to have a moan with and learn things from.
If going out and about really does seem too much effort, then why not share experiences and get advice from other mums in an online community such as Twinsclub.co.uk - the same idea but you can nip in and out while your twins are napping.
Twins can be successfully breastfed. The more they drink, the more milk you'll produce so there should be plenty for two. It can take a while for you to get the hang of it so if you're keen to breastfeed, try and stick with it.
The obvious pros of breastfeeding your twins are that it'll save you money and you'll have more freedom to go out and about without having to worry about sterilising and heating up bottles.
There are some downsides though. You might feel drained and will need to eat about 600 more calories a day to keep your strength up and to produce enough milk for your hungry babies. Your nipples can also get quite sore. A mum feeding one baby will have more time to rest a sore nipple by swapping breasts but if you're going to try and breastfeed your twins two at a time, this won't be an option.
'Before I had my twins I'd breastfed my previous three children and didn't even consider doing anything different with Caroline and Georgina. I did try at the start but it was just too sore. Perhaps if I had done the twins one at a time I would have been able to stick with it but I'm afraid to say I quickly gave up and they were on bottles by the time they were a month old.'
Diana Smith, mum to Caroline and Georgina, 4, Sally, 6, Wendy, 8 and Alistair, 10
'If you're finding breastfeeding difficult or sore, it is likely to be a positioning issue which is something that can 100% be solved. I had trouble with one of my twins but got help and advice from another counsellor and was able to carry on breastfeeding my twins until they were four years old.
Every mother is different but if a woman wants to breastfeed and is finding it hard, we'll support her by looking at things such as whether the baby is taking enough breast tissue in their mouth - it's called breastfeeding not nipple feeding so this is why mums can find it sore! Also we'll observe the way the baby is lying against the mother and give her the confidence to experiment with different positions and ways of holding her babies.'
NCT Breastfeeding counsellor and mum of twins Nena Blake
Bottle feeding could also be a good option for mums of twins because it means that someone else can help you with the feeding. Early on when you're trying to find your feet your twins might be in very different sleep routines, so it might feel like one of them is awake most of the night. If you've got a partner that could do any of those late-night bottle feeds, it might take some of the strain off you.
If you're going to be doing most, or all of the feeds on your own you could be making more work for yourself, because there's the cleaning and making up of the feeds to consider as well as the balancing act of trying to physically feed both at once.
Having one baby that's crying all the time is enough to drive any mother to distraction but two screaming babies can quickly become too much to cope with. The most important thing is to not be afraid to ask for help. If your partner left most of the feeding and changing to you with previous children, he can't do that this time around. If he's reluctant to help, tell him you need him to. If you're a single parent, draw upon family members or close friends - anyone that offers to lend a hand.
'Don't be proud. Accept all offers of help whatever it might be. Your main priorities are your babies so if somebody wants to clean up or cook for you then let them! You can't be superwoman and if you turn people down early on, they're likely to not bother asking again.'
Founder of Twinsclub.co.uk and mum of twins, Lindsey Gray
Time with your health visitor will be invaluable. They can show you techniques for feeding and caring for your twins. It can be hard leaving one baby to cry, but when you've only got one pair of hands, sometimes that will have to happen and you shouldn't feel guilty about it. By explaining things like this and just giving you some time to bond with your children individually your health visitor will be a massive help.
'Don't panic. My husband once said to me when I was in a bit of a flap ''You're older than they are, you're in charge!" and it's true. As long as there's not some sort of emergency it's not the end of the world if they're crying. You just need to try and stay calm.'
NCT breastfeeding counsellor and mum of twins, Nena Blake
There will inevitably be some points when you're on your own with your babies and they're both crying for different things, so what do you do? If one's hungry and one needs changing, neither is going to suffer unbearably in the time it takes you to sort the other one out. So take a deep breath and go about your tasks one by one.
That said, multi-tasking is a very useful skill in situations like this and rocking one baby to sleep with your foot while giving the other one a bottle is something that you'll do well to master.
Don't believe it when people say that twins never wake each other up. You may be lucky but some twins definitely do disturb each other in the night.
However, If you do find yourself awake in the night with one twin crying and the other sound asleep you might want to consider waking it up. We know it goes against the 'never wake a sleeping baby' rule but it might be the only way of getting your babies into the same routine.
According to TAMBA (Twins and Multiple Births Association), putting twins in the same cot after they're born helps them to adjust to their new environment by helping them to co-regulate their body temperatures and their sleep cycles to soothe themselves and their twin.
Twins that are used to being in the same cot are also far less likely to disturb each other at night than those that aren't, plus, one cot takes up less space so you could potentially keep them both in your bedroom for longer - a known factor in preventing cot death and it'll mean you don't have far to go when they want a midnight feed.
Something that some new mums struggle with when raising twins is finding time to bond with their babies individually. Meeting the needs of two developing babies is a huge challenge and there are bound to be times when you feel split down the middle and anxious that neither baby is benefitting from your undivided attention.
Your babies might also have very different personalities. One might be placid and easily pleased while the other might scream whenever you put them down. If this is the case, it can be hard to not give the louder more demanding one more attention - if only to keep them quiet. But you shouldn't feel guilty about this.
Being fair doesn't mean that you have to treat your twins in the same way but you do need to think of a solution. Get dad or the grandparents to take the needier twin out for a few hours, so that you get time with your other twin, or if you're lacking people close by to take one off your hands for a while, try leaving one to play under the baby gym while you scoop the other one up for cuddles.
'My boy and girl twins were like chalk and cheese. Tom was an angelic little baby whereas Millie was a monster! She was just so demanding, Tom didn't get a look in. She'd scream all day long whereas Tom would lie on his mat and play happily and I'd feel so guilty that she was getting all the attention just because she was more difficult.
It started to upset me so when my husband got home from work I'd make him take Millie upstairs for a while or out for a walk so that I could have some time for just me and my son.'
Karen Haynes, Mum to Tom and Millie, 10
It's up to you whether you dress your twins the same or differently but apart from looking cute there are really few benefits to making them more alike than they already are. It'll save you money not forking out on two of every outfit and you should really be trying to encourage your twins' individual identities to grow wherever possible.
As they get older there's bound to be some level of competitiveness between them and so it's best to focus on their individual strengths and not put them in situations where they feel like they are being compared.
Some schools split twins up into separate classes and while this might seem cruel, it could be really good for them. Starting school is scary but other kids manage and it could be good for them to not rely on their brother or sister so much.
There's no denying that twins are hard work but on the plus side, you've got an instant family and don't have to fret over when's the best time to have baby number two or three.
The bond between twins, particularly identical twins, is one that can't really be mirrored by anything else and that closeness lasts a lifetime. They'll always have someone there to play with who's at a similar level to them. Older siblings might get frustrated with a younger child's inability to play on their level, but with twins that's not an issue.
Of course with such an intense bond is bound to come some pretty intense fighting but unless they're hurting each other, it might be best to leave them to it and not get involved in 'he did this/ she did that' type rows.
'Twins are without a doubt double the pleasure. They've been fantastic. The only thing that I see as a negative is the financial cost of having to fork out for double the school uniforms and double the school trips but if you explain your situation to people, they're almost always willing to help by letting you pay in instalments or something like that. My girls are always there for each other. They're independent but support and help each other through everything. It's all very sweet.'
NCT breastfeeding counsellor and mum of twins, Nena Blake
'My twins squabble like any brother and sister but if any one of them hurts themselves, it's then that their bond becomes clear. I remember taking my son to hospital after he'd cut his head on a corner table. Anyone would think Millie was the one injured the way she was screaming down the casualty waiting room. 'Make him better' she wailed. 'Will he be OK?' As soon as he was out and stitched up they went back to bickering again but it was sweet to see that they really do care.'
Karen Haynes, mum to Tom and Millie, 10
- Preparing for twin babies
- Pregnancy scans explained
- Your baby's weight: the first few months